Jason Zabel
Tag
Cats Are Better Than Dogs
Loving a dog is fucking easy. Here’s how your relationship with a dog works: you enter their life; they enter your life. You either li..
Study: Chubby Kids Superior to Non-chubby Kids
See?
A Guide to 21st Century Fears
Supermoons: While this sounds both delicious (lime-flavored?) and fun (is it the latest indie band/inflatable playground accessory?), Su..
Rejected Names For a Hot Show About Biking
Two Wheels One Dick
Fixed Queer Bicycle
Keepin it Wheel
Velocipedophile
Masturbikes
Dandy Horse
Bike Splooge
..
Better Living Through Alcohol
So you really blow. You’re feeling like no matter what you do everyone hates you because you accidentally “sexually molest people” or yo..
Most Annoying TV Characters EVER
Annie Camden from 7th Heaven: It’s really hard to pick a least favorite character from 7th Heaven. Between Lucy’s annoying bangs/inexpli..
Celebrity couples, past and present, who we don’t like to imagine having sex
Anna Nicole Smith and J. Howard Marshall
Annette Bening and Warren Beatty
John and Cindy McCain
Roger Ebert a..
Pros and Cons of the DPWLTF (Disney Princes We’d Like to Fuck)
Eric from The Little Mermaid
Pros:
Winning smile
Good with dogs
Nice flop in his hair
Best personality of any Disney princ..
The Smells of a Gay Bar
You’re greeted by the sweetest smelling urinal cake you’ve ever encountered. You’ve just walked into the bar, and it takes a moment to..
Pornography and Justin Bieber
Hello! Thank you for clicking, and welcome to the Internet!
It’s likely you’re here because you’re a) looking for pornography, or b) ..
The Ten Least Ethnic Restaurants in the Twin Cities
1. Hooters
2. Common Roots Cafe
3. Jamba Juice
4. Joe Senser’s Sports Theater Restaurant
5. The Lexington
6. Mac’s Indu..
The Tangential Naked Tweets the Oscars: Awards We’d Rather Give the Nominees
Melissa Leo (The Fighter): Best Doily Impression
Christian Bale (The Fighter): Best Lice Beard, Best Downplaying of Douchiness
Ric..