10 Ways to Let the Kids in Your College Lecture Know You’re a Gayboy
1. Knit in class
2.Immediately identify your “posse” of classmates that you will collaborate with for group projects. They will eithe..
Dating Websites Even More Niche than The New Goldigging-Sugar Daddy One
Now that sugarsugar.com exists, the floodgates for all disgustingly niche dating sites have also opened. Here are some suggestions:
Likely Careers for the World’s First Baby Named “Like”
Finally, an amorous, fertile couple took off the condom and put on their thinking caps and now the world has a bouncing new baby named L..
Things Lindsay Lohan Will Do While Serving Her 4-Month Long Prison Sentence at Home
-Learn something practical, like how to make a prosthetic nose that she will one day be able to replace her birth nose with after she’..
Lady Gaga’s Penis Shoes: When should you wear them?
Lady Gaga recently debuted these weinery heels on American Idol. Here’s when you should wear them.
To a My Penis Got Cut Off conven..
In Defense of Bristol Palin’s New Chin
I’ve always felt a certain closeness to Bristol Palin. From the moment I saw her squirrelly cheeks, her pregnant belly, and the man-meat r..
Overheard: Questions an Elderly Woman Asked at an Indian Food Buffet
1. Do you have a senior discount?
2. Why not?
3. What about smaller portions?
4. You think I can eat as much as that young gentlema..
Famous quotes, corrected
PURPORTED: “Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”
PURPORTED: “Frankly, Scarlett..
Names of PBS programs if government funding is cut off
KC Masterpiece Sauce Theater
Clifford the Doublemint Dog
Tavis Smiley, presented by St. Paul Orthodontics
The Gayest Seeming Animals
Yesterday, Buzzfeed published a list of the 25 animals that actually scissor with their own gender on the regs. But who wasn’t a little di..
On Being the Middle Child
It’s true: I was beat up a lot when I was younger. At first by my older brother Aaron, a man who still makes me flinch whenever we encou..
Your Sister’s Getting Married: 15 Ways to Ruin Her Wedding
1. Coordinate with an Dateline’s “To Catch a Predator” so the jailbait and pedo just so happens to be at the wedding when the crew sh..