Jason Zabel
TagOn Being a Dreamer
Every morning I wake up, and I think, “What can I do that is impossible today? What can I do that will crush my spirit in ten thousand..
Everything I Know About Suicide I Learned From The Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills
Last summer, Russell Armstrong, the husband of huge-lipped Bravo celebrity housewife Taylor Armstrong, hanged himself. This event came..
Wow That Was The Gayest Super Bowl Halftime Show Ever
The Super Bowl halftime show was very gay, thank you very much, Madonna. The show took classic themes that skew gay easily—marching ba..
I’ll Give You Cold, Hard Cash for your Dead, Rotting Baby Teeth
Here’s the deal, little boys and girls. You’ve got something I really want. Now wait a second—don’t run off and tell your mom and dad th..
An Adventure So Great We’ll Have to Change Our Names Afterward
Let’s go on an adventure so great we’ll have to change our names when we’re done. We’ll slaughter farm animals that aren’t ours, run..
Real life situations that would be more light-hearted if porny music were playing in the background
Blowing up a yoga ball.
Glueing together the vase that fell from the fireplace before your parents get home.
Brushing snow off your ca..
McDonald’s New Low Carb Happy Meals
Two slabs of beef served with our Signature Cheese Goo. Paint Signature Cheese Goo onto the slabs of beef with your complimentary Hann..
Twitter Handle Suggestions for Demi Moore, Formerly @MrsKutcher
@25andYoungerPlz
@BroSafari
@MyButtIsPlastic
@RumorsMom
@DemiWho
@SexandPottery
@TakeMeBackBruce
@NotKyleR..
Christianity-Themed Knock Knock Jokes
Knock knock. Who’s there? Christ! Christ who? EXAAAAAAACTTTTLYYYY.
Knock knock. Who’s there? The virgin. The virgin who? Just kidding, al..
I Hope You Never Get In Shape and Leave Me
There is a health craze sweeping the nation. Moms are waking up early and hopping on treadmills. Dads are skipping lunch and “hitting ..
Just Suspend Me In Gelatin Already
You’re here because you would like to be suspended in gelatin. There are numerous benefits to a gelatinous lifestyle: you don’t put pressu..
Why I Became A Scientologist
Scientology is in the news again, kinda! What would it take for me to become a Scientologist? You’d first have to remove part of my br..