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The number of times I’ve fooled around with marijuana in the aftermath of major life setbacks could fill up a really boring and really sho..

Spend a couple dinner nights in a row at Hardees. No one really goes to Hardees anymore. It’s sort of the Blockbuster Video of fast-f..

Fuck the lines. And certainly fuck reading between them.

When it comes to romance, give me literal, thank-you-very-much-for-the-bluntne..

1989: My best friend and I went as Ghostbusters. His Proton Pack was purchased from Shopko and looked real. My Proton Pack was made by my ..

It’s a Tuesday night in your shitty college town, but you’ve never been about the bright lights. And your friend, The English Major, i..

The other day I joined Spotify and thought my woes of trying to find a proper medium to enjoy late-stage Billy Joel had ended forever…

Page 22: As I get arrested by the Boston police force for refusing to remove my tent site from a plot of public flowers while demandin..

A freezer full of 36 popsicles. When I got sick, I stocked up on multi-flavored popsicles. I got sick about 3 weeks ago. The popsicles are..

The other day this bearded dude I was friends with in college told me that his weekend prog-rock project had broken up. I got sad for a se..

Abandoned Railroad Tracks
On Tuesdays after school, my friends and I gather here to walk around forlornly in the Buckle’s new fall catalo..

The Men’s Warehouse Killer: Just as I tightened the plastic cord around the neck of my unsuspecting victim in an undisclosed discount ..