Dunstan McGill
TagWhy Mac-Geniuses Are Diminishing My Love of Nerds
In hindsight, beating someone up on the playground because he was a “know-it-all” seems like a justifiable act.
I vividly recall ha..
A Defense of Shameless Christmas Music
Our editor Jay Gabler has recently been liking my Spotify account more than usual—a nod on my Mannheim Steamroller, a witty comment ab..
This Might Seem Unnecessary, BUT…Why the new Muppets film is NOT liberal propaganda
You may not know this, but that new Muppets movie is liberal brainwashing of children. No, the HIV-positive, starving or “Ralph Nader”..
Santa’s Eight Little Reindeer, Ranked from My Least to Most Favorite, Sorta
8. Cupid or Custer or Some Shit Like That: You know who I’m talking about. The one between Comet and Donner in the song. Is it Cupid? ..
The Trials of Buying KY Intrigue in Broad Daylight at Target
It’s a Wednesday night at Target, right between the suppertime rush and the late-night, drunk college student rush. You’re hoping to avoid..
The 12 Days of Depression
(For full effect, sing to the popular tune of that yuletide numerology hit)
Day 1: On the first day of Depression, my true love gav..
Internal Monologue at the Dentist’s Office
Receptionist: “Welcome, aha, I see you don’t have a carrier—will you be using a card?”
Actually I was just hoping you guys would pick u..
The Professional Shit-Train That Is the Starbucks Card eGift
So you want a quick and fun way to say “hey good to hear from you again” to that girl who disappeared off the face of the Earth for two da..
What It Means When I Make You a “Favorite” on My Cell Phone
This is a big decision I’m about to make here. For nearly two and a half months now we’ve been sending each other dirty text messages, pla..
Anyone Else Spending Most of November Eating Like a Fucking Slob?
It’s November, and so like clockwork, I’ve spent 5 of the last 6 nights winding up my long, thankless work days trolling the darkly-lit hi..
In Defense of Maroon 5, Or Why Maroon 5 are the New Hall and Oates
Last week a commenter declared that I was “easily” the most unappealing writer on this website. So rather than fight it (haters gonna hate..
Things We’ll Do Once for Every Follower We Lose Because of This Post
Shave a kitten.
Laugh at an Amish person.
Trip a newborn foal.
Play tee-ball with a Precious Moments figurine.
Steal insul..