dunstan mcgill
Hooray! My 82-Year Old Grandpa Finally Got His College Degree…That Deadbeat Sack of Shit
Hey, sweet! My Grandpa Carson just did the unthinkable! After 82 years of his wretched existence sullying this planet, he finally clea..
Playbilling My Childhood’s Summer Community Theater Exploits
July 1992, Traveling Children’s Theater Production of Cinderella, Palace Guard (Stage Right), 7 years old: I really had disagreements with..
The Gangsta Rap Guide to Dealing With Haters at Work
Tip #1: Remind yourself what Rousseau said about humans being noble savages. Then remind yourself he’s wrong, and actually Dr. Dre was..
How to Get Stood Up
Thursday, 5 p.m. Send tentative text message, painstakingly loose and breezy, so you hide the hours during work you crafted it, Hey! You w..
How I Feel About My Brother Getting Circumcised
We all have those memories. Sitting in the bathtub. Staring at your brother’s penis. Trying to focus on building your bubble-bath mustache..
A Modest Proposal to My Hot Cousin … To Do Some Incest with Me
Hear me out. My cousins are hot. Ok. And not “hot” in a Pam Anderson in Barbed Wire kind of way. Gross. And, dumb. No, my cousins all (or ..
Types of Instagram Narcissism
Food Narcissism: The Cuban breakfast plate, the muy grande Tex-Mex burrito, the sharp knives slicing the artichoke heart—the photos are al..
The Charming Humility of Sugar Ray
I never had a problem with Sugar Ray back in the 90s. I vividly remember singing along to every word on “Fly” on the eight grade bus with ..
Enough With the Children’s Choirs Already!
In John Gardner’s seminal how-to-guide On Becoming a Novelist (a professor once told me all books about writing books suck….except for thi..
Tangential Writers As Seen Through Google Glasses
Hyper-Active Child Live-Tweets Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
I WILL BE YOUR NEIGHBOR I WILL I WILL X10000 #butwheredoulive?
Same outfit as yesterday @MistaR I want to touch the sides of your shoes..
The False Mystique of Living in Small Town USA
I’m 27 years old. And for approximately 85% of my twenties, I’ve lived in a small town. (The other 15% I was in Rochester, MN, and Minneap..