dunstan mcgill
How I Plan to Spend Today’s April Fool’s Day
Call up an ex-girlfriend living 800 miles away, inform her I haven’t ever stopped thinking about her, in fact, I think we were born for ea..
Six Things We’ve Learned About Creative Writing Online
We were invited to attend the Minnesota Colleges & Universities English and Writing Conference on March 30 at the Minneapolis College ..
How to Know if Your Job Interview is Actually for an Opening in a Pyramid Scheme
The interviewer refers to his grandpa on two different occasions, with two different names. Normal interviews—say for a desk job answering..
What’s the Deal With Chuck Klosterman’s Fiction?
Like many of his beloved ‘80s hair metal bands suffering through mid-career artistic crises, Chuck Klosterman’s novel-writing period is li..
Conversations I Have In My Head While Filling Out My Taxes Online
Why aren’t I married? I mean, shit, I cut a nice profile when my slacks are ironed, my stutter isn’t too bad anymore, and I use body soap…
Seven Uncool Ways to Be the “Cool” Professor
1) Refer casually to controlled substances. Last week I saw a professor in the sciences crack jokes with students about the chemical com..
How Not to Do a SXSW Red Carpet Interview with Matthew McConaughey, Or Turns Out Owen Wilson Is Someone Different
1) Request a red carpet interview pass at the SXSW premiere of a new Matthew McConaughey film, say Killer Joe. You have virtually zero jo..
What I’ve Learned about SXSW Girls in My Attempts to Bag One or More of Them
SXSW girls (cute ones anyway) are all going to yoga tomorrow morning. After all the Foursquaring, networking, and keg-stands off rooft..
Things You Can Do If You Arrive to SXSW a Week Early
Thanks to poor planning, my college’s spring break falling on the wrong week, and my desire to not skip work and get fired, I arrived ..
Why the Utter Failure of “Project X” is More Terrifying Than If It Had Actually Succeeded
The most noteworthy achievement of party-rocking send-up Project X is that the garden gnome (whose fingers are permanently flipping the bi..
A Guide for Drinking Responsibly With Your Parents
My mom doesn’t drink. Rumor is she once had a white-wine spritzer and passed out, feet-up, as an ambitious undergrad at a law school party..
Cutest Apocalyptic Scenarios Ever
Coordinated attack by terrorist cats wearing tiny airline pilot uniforms!
One word: Tribbles!
Anthropomorphous Tonka trucks, voi..