Sex
CategoryJay Gabler’s Guatemala: Premature attackulation
She came to me in the night. I knew it was her—the smell of Zevs Slim Ultra Lights woke me up, and stirred me from my makeshift banana..
Different Types of Drunks
The Reliable Drunk: This person knows how to drink. They practically do it for a living, and they know what they’re doing. While they wi..
If exhibitionist sex cams were introduced like dinner theater
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen! On behalf of Gary, Bonnie, and the entire exhibitionist community, I’m very pleased and honored to..
More Cute Things Babies Could Say on Anti-Abortion Billboards
Anti-abortion billboards are pioneers not only in enforcing morality with militant cuteness, but in using daring blends of fonts in non-tr..
If I Had to Teach Aliens About Humanity Using Just 3 Commercials, These Are The Ones I’d Pick
The first sexual stirrings are a heightened interest in cherubic boy-men with bowl cuts.
The Tangential How-To Guide: How to Pick Someone Up at a Dance Club
1. Get a drink.
2. Go to the middle of the dance floor. If your wingperson is of the gender you’re looking to pick up and is good-l..
How to Be a 13-Year-Old Girl
AIM chat with boys for at least two hours a day. Ask them complicated questions about the mechanics of morning boners. Do they rise with the sun? What if someone tricks your penis into thinking it’s time to get up using artificial lighting?
What Your Dinkytown Bar of Choice Says About You
Blarney – My roommates and I got along better before we lived together. They never want to play drinking games with me anymore, and wh..
Cracking the Code of Illicit, Horrid and Sinful Teen Acronyms
DTH – This means either “down to hoover” or “dick tempting hips.” When typing this via text in the car, it means “death,” as in “My inevitable dth is approaching, N2KU.”
A Sexy Friday Night Mad-Lib
It’s 7 p.m. and ___ your favorite show ____ just ended. You are taking the last sip of a ___drink____ and suddenly a car pulls up outs..
Curse of the Small-Boobed Among Us
Boobies. YAAAAAAY! By and large, boobs are pretty cool. At their most basic they are life-giving nutritional staples for baby humans, la..
Valentine’s Day Horoscopes
These are completely made up, but so are the real ones. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take yours hyper-personally and plan your day ..