Lists
CategoryFrench Expressions Ranked from Most Useful to Most Obnoxious
More Useful Than Obnoxious
Pied-à-terre—A convenient way to distinguish your studio apartment from your parents’ house.
Hors d’o..
Things That Will Never Change
Shitty stuff. Your car will break down, your pets will die.
Exclamation marks in porno titles. It’s never Gemini Starr Gets Rammed,..
Random Names for Instagram Filters that I Wish Existed
-Carl’s Junior
-Collagen
-Vaguely Ethnic
-Bieber Sweat
-Bath Salts
-No Scrubs
-Dave
-Grandma’s House
-Hydrogen P..
People You’ll Meet at Your Local Laundromat
1) Skuddsy—Skuddsy dresses like Tony Hawk if instead of good at skating he was really good at meth. He sits at the front with like fiv..
Why I Hated Girl Scout Camp (But Normal People Might Like It)
1. I had the caffeine shakes.
There is no caffeine at Girl Scout camp. For some reason, this was not something I was expecting when I..
Celebrity College Analogies
“It might also help to show, over time, that the supposed superiority of an Ivy League education is highly over-rated. In time, people wo..
Dad – A Chronology of the Parts of My Childhood I’d Like to Apologize For
Age 4: I am sorry that I insisted that the family eat almost exclusively at McDonald’s just so I could collect every single miniature Ba..
Alternatives to YOLO
YOL9X – Cat YOLO
YOL?X – Hindu YOLO
YOLUYRNBEPHAD – “You only live until you reach nirvana by extinguishing passion, hatred and de..
My Anti-Bucket List – Things I Pledge Never to Do
-Name my child after a character from Twilight
-Fulfill the Minnesotan stereotype of making “a salad” that is mostly noodles and mayo..
What You Really Mean When You Say “I’m Staying in Tonight”
-Invite me 3 more times, more creatively, because I don’t exactly feel like part of your friend group and I need reassurance that you li..
Simple Reasons Why a Prom-Themed Dance Party in Your 20’s Will Be Better than Your Actual Prom
• No societal pressure to lose your virginity and truly make it “a night to remember” or “take your breath away.”
• No teachers or ..
Life’s Great Truths
I like that band. But their earlier work was better.
More sriracha please.
Libraries ≠ Netflix
There is some kind of universa..