Imagined Conversations
CategoryNutrisystem Entrees Designed by Janet Jackson
All For You Tiramisú
Beef and Broccoli – Together Again
That’s The Way Love Goes: Regulating Fiber Bars
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Toy Concepts for Parents Who Want to Immerse their Kids in “The Real World”
Lower-Middle Class Mall Santa: This action figure comes dressed in faded brown workpants, and a beer-spilled white button-up, complete..
The Unfinished Tweets of Yoko Ono
Tell your brother he is your favorite bead in the charm bracelet that is your life. Italian glass
Sleep with a starfish leg under y..
Internal Monologue at the Dentist’s Office
Receptionist: “Welcome, aha, I see you don’t have a carrier—will you be using a card?”
Actually I was just hoping you guys would pick u..
I Hope You Never Get In Shape and Leave Me
There is a health craze sweeping the nation. Moms are waking up early and hopping on treadmills. Dads are skipping lunch and “hitting ..
Travel Blog Mad Lib
Oh wow, I can’t believe I’ve already been in __place__ for __length of time__. Things are so different here. Don’t get me wrong, I lov..
Guesses at the Upcoming Projects of Miranda July
Cookie
A novella is written on 30,00 individual grains of rice, each marked with one number and one word. These are then placed int..
Plea of a Teenage Cro-Magnon
I know lots of cro magnons go around saying stuff like this, but in my case it’s true – Dad, you embarrass me every time you knuckle-w..
A Timeline of Anxious Feelings You Have at the Dentist
Age 4: What’s a dentist? I don’t like this at all. GET ME OUTTA HERE.
Age 7: Thanks for noticing the cute gap in my front teeth. Ha..
I Am Like a Weeble When I Am Dead
climbing onto this church/ thank god/ carrying a giant rake with me to scare walking individuals
last february i drove home from th..
Venn Diagram: Hotel Guest Activities, As Categorized by Cleaning Staff
– Concept by Jay Gabler, illustration by Becky Lang
I Will Be the Most Feared Adult at This Indoor Water Park
I will be the most feared adult at this indoor water park. I will assert my dominance over this damp kingdom armed with little more th..