Haterade
CategoryIt’s Time to Put the Sunday Funnies Out of Their Misery
The Sunday funnies are one of the great American cultural traditions, dating back to the 18th century. Initially controversial (in 190..
Get Revenge Like a Millennial
1. Aggressive Social Media Revenge
Start by blocking this person on all social media networks. They are no longer your Facebook fri..
Let’s Hear it for Paper! Anyone? Paper? Anyone?
We’re not quite in the era of the paperless office—if that were the case, we’d all spend a lot less time swearing at printers—but we’r..
Low-Culture Things I Won’t Think You’re Interesting for Hating
PBR: PBR is so synonymous with hipsters that I had to make a rule at my old newspaper job that no one could describe hipsters as “PBR-..
Douchey Things People Say When They Find Out You Work in the Ad Business
“Oh, so you sold your soul?”
“I see. You help brands pretend they give a shit.”
“I thought about going into advertising but I wa..
Actual College Essays I’ve Had to Read, and Grade
Fuck Art
Fuck portraits. I’m sorry you had to spend so much time on that portrait of Henry VIII because cameras hadn’t been invented yet, but t..
How To Lose Your Twee
1. Fucking get some real worries and be devastated by them. You probably have too much time on your hands. If you’re wistfully plantin..
Ten Annoying Things About “Esquire”
1. The guys on Esquire‘s cover always seem to be actors. I have nothing against actors, but my level of interest in a detailed report on w..
Dippin’ Dots to IttiBitz: Go Fuck Yourselves, You Soft, Worthless Sons-of-Bitches
Yeah, you heard us. You can take your mealy underfrozen little asses and haul them right out of the cooler and onto the sidewalk where you..
Statements That Don’t Really Mean Anything, So You Shouldn’t Even Make Them
“Our band is breaking up.” We all know you’ll be getting back together after your solo albums flop.
“I’m going on a diet.” Either e..
Pros and Cons of Living in the Midwest
Pros
-Probably not going to die in a hurricane unless you’re on vacation, and then at least you can say you died on vacation.
-W..