Haterade
CategoryThank You for Noticing My Sunburn
“Oh, yikes!” **Ouchy/grimace face** “You, my friend, are sunburned.”
OMG! You noticed! Thank god! I mean, I laid outside at the pool li..
Gen X to Millennials: Quit Making Us Look Good
Published online in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the study finds Millennials (born 1982-2000) more civically and poli..
How Rick Santorum Celebrates International Women’s Day
8 a.m.: Wakes up and looks down between his legs, double checking that he has a peen and not a vagine. Phew. Says one Hail Mary for lo..
How to Really Suck as a DJ
“I think I’m some huge expert so I’m going to fade all the songs out early and skip to the next ones.”
Many great dance songs are lik..
What Male Politicians Say About Contraception, and What Women Hear
“
This contraceptive thing. My gosh, it’s so inexpensive. Ya know, back in my days they used to use Bayer Aspirin for contraceptives…
Five Things You Do at the Office That Make Me Secretly Want to Kill You
1. You sneen on casual Friday.
Sneening = sneakers and jeans. Sneening is an unnecessary evil visited on my workplace/our society t..
How to Advertise Cars to Women
-Paint them pink
-Put a baby inside
-Put a Kelly Clarkson song in the background
-Put them on Pinterest
-Make your commercial in cla..
Why Sarcasm is For Losers
When I was an angsty youngster, mad at the world for making me black and smarter than everyone else, I had one consistent solace in my..
Playing “Next” with Match.com Ladies, or How I Continue to Play Hard to Get in My Mind
Your opener involves “shoot for the moon/land stars” or “smell the roses”
You probably drive a black SUV, rarely stop by scenic overloo..
Pinterest is Making Me an Angry Person
There’s Nothing Surprising about Musical Flash Mobs
When Rent came out on DVD, I survived a remarkable twenty minutes of what I thought was rock bottom for terrible musical theater. My o..
Why Mac-Geniuses Are Diminishing My Love of Nerds
In hindsight, beating someone up on the playground because he was a “know-it-all” seems like a justifiable act.
I vividly recall ha..