Music/Snacks
CategoryGreat Babies of History: Jordy Lemoine
These days, you can’t go anywhere without hearing about Beyoncé and Jay-Z’s unborn child, a.k.a. “Destiny’s Child”, a.k.a. Bey-Jay II (whi..
Lines from Mel Brooks’s Rejected Script for “Pitchfork: The Movie”
“I wouldn’t give her any coolpoints, but I’d sure like to get my hands on ’em!”
“Bo Derek just got some work done, and she wants to..
Football Snacks in Terms of Respectability
You brought nachos?! You are the best type of human. Everyonelikes nachos. They’re my third favorite Mexican import (behind M..
In Defense of Maroon 5, Or Why Maroon 5 are the New Hall and Oates
Last week a commenter declared that I was “easily” the most unappealing writer on this website. So rather than fight it (haters gonna hate..
A Dream After Listening to Friday Night Radio in St. Louis
I was on an oak ridge, and in the distance there were boys singing about Elvira, or Amy, or some such person. They sounded sad and hap..
An Open Letter to the Self-Checkout
Dear Self-Checkout,
It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, but I want you to know that I’m still thinking about you. I’ve been ..
Lo-Fi Music Can Kiss My Ass
Don’t get me wrong. I like the good stuff. My new favorite new band is Dirty Beaches, and that’s about the lowest fidelity you can get..
Thanks Spotify, For Telling Me Who I Should Lose Respect For
The other day I joined Spotify and thought my woes of trying to find a proper medium to enjoy late-stage Billy Joel had ended forever…
Top Ten Male Screen-Star-to-Radio-Star Attempts of the 1980s
10. Kevin Costner. If Kevin Costner was really serious about his music career, he would’ve kicked it off in the 80s, when he was riding hi..
Ranking Today’s Biggest Genres of Stoner Music
Weed rap: I tried to find the exact definition of “weed rap,” for this article, but I mostly ended up on a bunch of Yahoo! answers for..
30 Days of Average – Eat a Frozen Pizza
Sometimes cooking can be a joy. The process of tricking the self-checkout into thinking your pine nuts are peanuts, sneaking a slice o..
An Open Letter to Elvis Presley
Dear Elvis,
How’s it going? Are you alive or dead? I know, you’re probably dead, which makes that an insensitive question—but if so..