What I Think The Spice Girls Meant By “If You Wannabe My Lover”
I never associated the song “Wannabe” with anything more than a poorly choreographed dance performance in my living room until I decid..
My Friend, The Burlesque Dancer: A Mostly True Story
“I need your opinion on some outfits,” Lacy said.
She sounded out of breath.
“I’m biking to your place with all my stuff.”
Tips for Dating A Blogger
Never ask to read what they’re writing. If they want you to read it, they’ll offer or post it online. A title and some bullet-points a..
On Being Cute
Apparently, as a child I spent my afternoons dumping out all my books before reading them and falling asleep in the pile. Pretty. Damn..
Thoughts I’ve Had While Getting Tattooed
Why did that paper need to know if I’m pregnant?
Could I be pregnant?
Will this kill the baby if I am?
Will I regret ..
How to Save Money and Maintain A Social Life While Unemployed and Finishing School
Find friends with money. I’ve got one of these, and if I’ve done something particularly amazing or nice, he’ll pay for my drinks. If h..
Hardships of a Preschool Guinea Pig: An Open Letter
As you may have noticed, I am gone. I have left you with my most treasured belonging—my igloo house. Do not panic; I c..
How to Fit In at a Nightclub
Dress the part. I’m 87% certain sequins are required for a nightclub. If possible, make sure your skirt is insanely short, so you have..
10 Things Clarissa Never Explained
Why She Never Locks Her Window. Clarissa, it doesn’t matter if you’re living in a suburb in Ohio; there are creepers everywhere. ..
Bad Science Jokes From A Bad[ass] Scientist
Q: What did the ADP molecule say to the phosphate? A: You complete me.
Q: What did the water molecule say to Photosystem II? A..
What I Know About Medicine From Suffering Through Grey’s Anatomy
-Mood music is playing all the time.
-Interns are constantly having sex with each other, but they are still prone to sexually ..
What I’d Be Doing At Pitchfork If I Could Have Gone This Year
11:13 AM. Start walking to festival. Pose by Harpo Studios. Shout, “Oprah!”
12:00 PM. Stop for a bloody mary and b..