Corporate Slogans I Would Consider Using as My Calling Card if I Turned into a Serial Killer
The Men’s Warehouse Killer: Just as I tightened the plastic cord around the neck of my unsuspecting victim in an undisclosed discount ..
Things in My Past That Needed to Not Happen for Me to Be Into the “Hard Sciences”
-When I tried growing “crystals” (not meth) in a Styrofoam cup in 1st grade, I would’ve had to have more than just greasy yellow residue s..
Why Rock ‘n’ Roll in Kids’ Music Classes Is Not as Cool as You Think
In a New York Times blog post today, self-proclaimed “social innovation” writer David Bornstein writes about a spreading trend across ..
Was “Mind of Mencia” as Smart as America Ever Got on the Topic of Race?
I had the funny sensation today listening to pop-turned-country star Darius Rucker that America has somehow regressed in terms of our ..
Top Industrial Bands I Miss from the ’90s
Photo courtesy jan_anek
“God Needed a Driver” and Other Ways of Justifying Unexpected Death
Dale Earnhardt: Guess God needed a driver.
Great-Grandma Edna: Guess God needed an angel.
My Uncle Dave: Guess God needed an alc..
A Review of a Mid-Sized Farm Town’s Municipal Band
Arriving late on bike to the open-air ampitheater on the banks of the scummy creek, I found the Jefferson Municipal Band already midway th..
Dreams I May or May Not Have Just Had About The Tangential Staff
Becky Lang: I’m over at her house for tea. Becky has just poured me a cup, flicked me on the nose, and now she’s introducing me to the..
What Obsolete Tech Products Would Be Like in Bed
Palm Pilot: All raring to go, got the sheets pulled off the bed, the lights off, scenty candles lit, early Justin Timberlake on the CD pla..
Actual College Essays I’ve Had to Read, and Grade
“I’d rather be”s I want to see on the back of a sedan, but probably never will
I’d rather be spearing a musk oxen.
I’d rather be dating Levi Johnston.
I’d rather be humping a mailbox.
I’d rather be prosecutin..
What They’ll Say About Me at My Eulogy If They Examine My Laptop
Dunstan had a love of self-portraits. There are approximately 1,484 pictures of myself on my computer thanks to “Photo Booth.” If I have e..