if you wanna be my lover, gotta get with my friends. and the trickier part: slam your body down and wind it all around.
— Emily Cain (@citizencain_) July 9, 2013
Trying to get that barista to see me leave a tip in the jar was like a bad game of chicken. This will cost them in my Yelp review.
— Charles Song (@CS70) August 6, 2013
found a friend among my Dads naval academy classmates…wearing a Hawaiian shirt, rainbows on his prosthetic leg & wants to “get boisterous”
— ☁♡kyra♡☁ (@kyraherning) August 2, 2013
One of my favorite ice breakers is “Where were you when you found out that Dick Cheney shot a man in the face”
— Andrew LaValle (@AndrewLaValle) August 2, 2013
Every time I see a pair of Tom’s wedges I feel sorry for the kid hobbling around in the donated pair.
— kate garrick (@kategarrick) August 1, 2013
men were cooler in medieval times when we knew they were going 2 go work out rly hard and maybe die. yeah i would def sew a flag for u.
— * Rosey Diamond * (@artwerk6666) August 2, 2013
i bet god is so embarrassed by the pope mobile
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) July 26, 2013
Sometimes I walk out w a slim 10% of charge on my phone and think to myself “tonight’s an exercise in acceptance and self-control, bb”
— Molly McAleer (@molls) July 21, 2013
Film suggestion from @bskbroiler: “Pump Up the Volume 2: This Time it’s Sirius”
— Josh Landon (@joshlandon) July 19, 2013
how to be #ontrend as a girl: 1) high school: pregnancy pact 2) college: hook-up culture 3) bridezilla 4) opt out of work 5) rethink salads
— Katie Heaney (@KTHeaney) July 16, 2013
the amount of time i can ignore an icon jumping on the bottom of my computer screen is alarming, truly
— StephanieGeorgopulos (@omgstephlol) July 15, 2013
– Compiled by @JayGabler