I think 2chainz wins rap instagram. since i followed him he’s posted a butterfly, like 9 salads, and his rose garden (twice).

— ☁♡kyra♡☁ (@kyraherning) May 14, 2013

“You wanna pay less than $100 for a dress, huh? Well, here’s a T-shirt we found crumpled on the stock room floor.” – Anthropologie

— Marnie Shure (@marnieshure) May 15, 2013

How does “passionate about sales“ exist as a thing

— Megan Nolan (@Megaroooo) May 15, 2013

hey why don’t you just smoke pot on January 5th since that’s what 4/20 reduces to how could i possibly keep that in drafts all year?!?

— Natalie Patricia (@nataliesurely) May 15, 2013

I feel like Kristen Stewart has already done her job on this planet.

— Becky Lang (@leckybang) May 19, 2013

sounds like someone needs to take a selfie

— Will (@wbech) May 20, 2013

‘Are we having sex?’ – a good response to ‘Can I have a ride to the airport?’

— Tess Barker (@TesstifyBarker) May 20, 2013

I love when commenters tell me I need to find a good man because it’s such a tissue-thin veiling over “You need a good dicking, allow me.”

— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) May 22, 2013

My friend wanted to feel like a princess for her wedding day, so I made her marry a man she never met in order to secure a French alliance.

— Michelle Wolf (@michelleisawolf) May 23, 2013

Benedict Cumberbatch sounds like a name an asshole would give to his asshole cat.

— Brett (@thecajunboy) May 24, 2013

Technically all pictures of your butt are for “posterity.”

— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) May 24, 2013

YES I am pregnant! It sucks!

— ✌ MAMA ☺ KREAY ✌ (@KREAYSHAWN) May 16, 2013

– Compiled by @JayGabler