Assuming that God would be worried about global warming, global overpopulation and douchebags rather than like, mixing wool and linen together, these things might have been outlawed:

-Owning a Hummer

-Craigslist killing

-Making a dress out of meat

-Turning the sink on while you poop (you know what’s up, high school girls)

-Trespassing upon thine roommate’s fridge drawer

-Catfishing

-Throwing fast food garbage out your car window

-Vajazzling

-Not saving your plastic bags in one of those recycling devices from Ikea

-Tipping less than 20%

-Getting married in Vegas

-Having more kids than can comfortably fit in a minivan

-Turducken

-“Hate fucking”

–Eating quinoa (maybe)?

-Cyberbullying

-Having an intensely watered lawn

-Taking the word “gay” in vain

-Insisting on bottled water

-Political attack ads

-Putting on the A.C. and the heat at the same time

–Becky Lang