0-10 photos: You’re a super sexy spambot.

10-50 photos: You’re 70+ years old. You say you’re only on Facebook because of your grandchildren, but actually you’re stalking all the singles in your assisted living facility. You don’t accept most of your grandchildren’s friend requests, and you say it’s because you don’t know how to use Facebook, but actually it’s because you don’t like the amount of bad language they use in their status updates.

50-200 photos: You’re 40-70 years old. You say you’re only on Facebook because of your children, and that was true…until the divorce.

200-500 photos: You’re extremely conscious of your image. Most photos that you’re tagged in, you immediately untag. When you’re feeling especially self-conscious, you go back through all your tagged photos and untag the one or two you like least.

500-1,000 photos: You’ve had at least one major relationship that ended. The first time you saw your ex with another guy/girl, you went home, finished that box of wine in the fridge, and cried while you untagged hundreds of photos.

1,000-2,000: You’re just an average person.

2,000-5,000: You’re EITHER in high school and haven’t yet untagged/deleted all those Photo Booth pics from when you were bored in study hall in junior high OR you’re very social, and probably either noticeably more attractive or noticeably less attractive than average.

5,000 or more: You do a lot of drugs. Like, a lot.

– Jay Gabler