Workaholics = The guy who’s always looking for people to smoke weed with during lunch hour who vets people by talking about Adult Swim shows and whatever kids today’s versions of Air the band is.

Bored to Death = The guy who is always trying to demonstrate the difference between ‘classical’ and ‘instrumental’ music with a ukelele he brings to parties, targeting girls wearing paisley and late to get their braces off.

Glee = Every girl’s first boyfriend who doesn’t try too hard to feel under her bra and also gets why she likes Andrew Lloyd Weber.

Californication = The popular guy who’s been known to say, “You look hungry for a serving of cock” before making some girl give him a blow job.

The Wire = Guy who calls other guys ‘sociopaths’ and knows the difference between sociopath and pscyhopath via A.P. Psych.

How I Met Your Mother = The guy who did really well on his A.C.T. and got his choice of which band chick to take to prom (clarinet lead!).

Breaking Bad = The guy with long floppy hair and sandals who you are in love with because he is surprisingly articulate about Walt Whitman but breaks your heart one day when he runs over a rabbit in his car and laughs.

Girls = The guy in class who your teacher has a nickname for because he raises his hand for everything only to crack a patronizing joke about her new sweater vest or bring up underwear.

The Daily Show = The guy who is kinda short and uninteresting but gets really hot at the end of college.

Mad Men = Guy who looks at expensive shoes online and who girls like because he is “good at Twitter.”

The League = White guy who says ‘the n word’ in high school but majors in cultural studies and writes a thesis about his guilt for doing so later on.

–Becky Lang