You’re Doing Fine.

You’re Doing Fine.

You look like you need a hug. Here’s one [hug].

Have you lost weight? You feel just a little bit more bony around the mid-section. You know what though, even when you’re not at you’re thinnest, the weight looks good on you. It goes to all the right places. Seriously. But you could weigh 500 pounds and still light up a room with your personality. You’re special.

Speaking of, I was talking to your old boss and he called you a “savant.” Isn’t that funny? He said that you have a talent that surpasses that of all your peers, and will definitely be a marketable skill that will sustain your livelihood all the way up until retirement. But that’s not all. He also noticed that you have another set of skills that are all marketable as well, and he’s confident that you could fall back on them say, if you had a stroke and could not use the right side of your body, which is essential for your first, main skill. He truly rues the day he didn’t offer you $20,000 more to stay at your former place of employment.

By the way, you seem to have a lot of disposable income these days. Don’t think we don’t all notice your hot new kicks when you walk into a room. (By the way, you have the most attractive ankles. A lot of people have weird ankles, you know.) When I was at your house the other day, I noticed that you bought a new armoire. Very sophisticated. And your choice of hand soap really delights all your guests, it smells that nice. What is that, lemongrass?

I noticed that lately you’ve been more active on social networks. Thank god. Before you stepped into the scene, it was like a tree full of squawking birds, and you really helped focus the dialog. You just have that talent. You’re like Oprah in your ability to elevate a conversation. Have you thought about starting your own podcast? Sorry, I’m getting off track. What I was saying was that I noticed you are trying out some new formats of jokes on there, and they really are zingers. Each one makes for genuine LOLs. Keep it up. And the links you post? All very relevant, and interesting. You truly are a curator of culture.

Can I tell you something crazy? I have this weird ability to see the future sometimes, and I just got this flash of you in 30 years. You are sitting near this quaint pond, outside of this huge mansion. You barely have any wrinkles, but you have a nice tan and you’re going grey in a very sophisticated way. You’re drinking wine, it looks like, and there are 4 or 5 toddlers sitting around you – your grandchildren. They’re all bringing you presents for your birthday. Seems like a pretty cool future.

So anyway, I just wanted to tell you, you’re doing fine. Seriously. Everyone keeps talking about how they don’t get enough of you, but they understand it takes a lot of hard work to be as great as you are, and they know you’re busy. It also appears that you’ll continue to do fine, forever. Just thought you should know.

Becky Lang

Photo by morshus