“Hey, four-eyes! How’s it going? Oh, come on. Don’t be like that. Call me ‘Baldy’! Here, rub my head. Like, give me a noogie. Come on!”

“It must be convenient that the Sun-Times can’t afford an editor for you. The Tribune puts me through the wringer!”

“Roger, Roger!”

“I’m just not sure about this ‘thumbs up, thumbs down’ thing. It’s just not very nuanced.”

“This whole crusade of yours to get the X rating replaced with an ‘A’…can’t you just watch your porn in private like the rest of us?”

“You can’t stay bitter over the death of Betamax for the rest of your life, Rog.”

“That SBD you dropped when I was trying to talk about Goodfellas…oh, don’t even deny it! And don’t give me that ‘Who smelt it dealt it’ crap again!”

“I get that our old studio owns the name Siskel & Ebert at the Movies, but don’t you think the name Siskel & Ebert & the Movies is just one ampersand past the point of insanity?”

“If you don’t back me up on One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, I’m totally telling our producer that I saw you hotboxing the editing room with the pizza delivery guy.”

“Would you please stop interrupting me?”

– Ross Geller