Excited to be starting my new job @TarrytownSchool! I hear every child in Sleepy Hollow is above average.

Charming school-house! Classic log-cabin construction, very quaint. Bit drafty, but no matter.

I hear my reputation as a disciplinarian has preceded me! I merely do as I must. #sparetherodspoilthechild

Hearty home-cooked meal tonight thanks to the @DeGroot family. Tomorrow I sup at the @roijakker home.

Lovely sermon today by @PastorHaas. Kind of him to say I was the most distinctive singer he’d ever heard.

Cozy evening by the fireside with beautiful ladies and good eats. Heard some silly tale about a deceased Hessian.

@goosens Made it home safe! I must admit to being startled by some shadows along the way. #toomuchbeer

Just met the very fetching @kvantassel. I heard you had beautiful women here, but hardly could I have imagined!

@pvantassel Thanks for the follow! Your daughter @kvantassel has invited me to pork this very evening.

Just arrived at Van Tassel farm for dinner, excited to see @kvantassel again. My, how this gallant cock struts!

@BromBones Pleased to make your acquaintance! Your Twitter is as amusingly coarse as I expected. Follow back?

#FollowFriday http://twitter.com/#!/brombones/my-gang Charming young fellows, though a touch NSFW.

“Ducks and geese are foolish things, but girls can take after themselves.” Well said, @vantasselmom, though I’m not sure I agree!

HELLO, I’M FOLLOWING YOU. “@BromBones: ill double that skoolmaster up n lay him on a shelf of his own skoolhaus” #clueless #learntospell

Who else is going to the grand fete tonight at the @pvantassel home? I’m dusting my wig!

@BromBones I refuse to engage that level of discourse—and frankly, sir, that tweet smacks of homophobia. #itgetsbetter

My landlord has lent me his steed Gunpowder—though I must say, there seems more powder than gun about this old nag.

I have espied a cock-robin! Methinks that bodes well for the evening’s festivities. (CC @BromBones)

Ah, the wide bosom of the Tappan Zee! In more temperate season, I wouldst dive straight in. #headfirst

What a spread! Fine food, strapping sons, and buxom lasses. #partylikeits1799

Just ate some oly koek courtesy of @vantasselmom. No idea what oly koek is, but I’m having #seconds!

You are a lucky man, @pvantassel, with all this and @kvantassel too. Would that I were master of this vast spread.

The cotillion! And with @kvantassel on my arm! Jealous much, @BromBones? #lordofthedance

More tedious stories of this “headless horseman.” Everyone but me, apparently, has seen this pumpkinhead.

Alas, the men could not stay awake for my lessons from @CottonMather and tales of life in Connecticut. Must be the effects of the drink.

Time to be on my way! But first, a quick word with @kvantassel on my way out! #poppingabreathmint

@kvantassel That didn’t go as I expected. Can we talk tomorrow?

@kvantassel You don’t need to reply. I’ll just come by.

@kvantassel A mere word from you in response would lift my heart!

#tweetingwhileriding #unsafe #notonefuckgiven

@kvantassel I’m about to cross Wiley’s Swamp. Isn’t this the bridge where the Hessian is said to lurk? Call me back!

@kvantassel I’m about to cross the bridge! This is quite creepy! Wouldn’t you miss me if the Headless Horseman struck me down?

@kvantassel Don’t answer that.

@BromBones There appears to be a dark rider in the distance. Could that be you?

@BromBones If that’s you, please do reply with all haste. Or DM me. Please!

HOLY SHITE HE HAS NO HEAD no wait OH SWEET JESUS HES OHLDING IT IN HIS HAND HELP EM HES GONN THOW IT

haha foned scoolmasters phone inna ditch by the bridge by this brokn punkin

hi im ikabod krane an im late 4 skool guess im not whippin any boys 2day lolololol

– Jay Gabler