A couple weeks ago, Becky wrote a post about being a serial monogamist. I realized I have a similar problem: I have long-term relationships with one kind of cereal. Here are some problems I’ve encountered:

1. After something sweet, I crave something nutritious. There comes a point when I actually glance at the nutrition information of my 12^th box of Fruity Pebbles, only to discover there’s no fiber or protein. At this point, I start purchasing bran. Unfortunately, bran tastes like paper. This leads to another discovery:
2. They don’t all get along. When I eat bran cereal, I make it taste better by mixing it with something delicious and sugary. The best kinds of cereals for this are Reese’s Puffs or granola. Sadly, my beloved fruity cereals do not do well with bran. Never, ever mix in Froot Loops, unless you want to ruin that relationship, too.
3. I will never find something that completely satisfies me. When I’m a month into my Kix run, I get a wandering stomach. Suddenly, I don’t even like Kix at all (even though my mom approves), and I just really want a heeping bowl of Apple Jacks. When I’m approaching two weeks on Apple Jacks, I crave something with chocolate. What I really need is something fruity with a peanut butter after taste. Why is that so hard?
4. Some are more expensive than others. This becomes a problem when I like them a lot. Like, five-times-a-day a lot. Brand name cereals can cost more than $4 a box! That makes my stomach and wallet very sad. I usually buy the giant bags of generic cereal, but they haven’t quite mastered Life yet. (Neither have I.)
5. You can subsist entirely on cereal. Nowadays, our cereals are pumped full of vitamins and minerals and heavy metals. It’s totally possible to eat cereal for every meal. The only problem with that is you’ll also need a lot of milk.

–Heidi Thomasoni

Photo by trekkyandy (Creative Commons)