Things I Really Wanted to Say to Zac Hanson
I interviewed my childhood crush Zac Hanson (of Hanson) yesterday for the TC Daily Planet. I really wanted to say:
“I used to pretend my pillow was you.”
“I carried a picture of you with me on family vacations in a tiny little photo book with a teddy bear on it.”
“I pretended you were singing every song exclusively to me.”
“I changed the girls’ names in all the songs to ‘Heidi’ when I sang along.”
“I legitimately thought you were in love with me, too, even though there was no way for you to know who I was.”
“I kissed a poster of you every night before I went to sleep.”
“I watched VH1 all day waiting to see your ‘Mmmbop’ music video, so I could kiss the television screen.”
“I owned the ‘Tulsa, Tokyo, & the Middle of Nowhere’ VHS and fast forwarded through the parts you weren’t in.”
“Internet stalking you was difficult back then.”
“I wrote Mrs. Hanson on my 6th grade notebooks.”
“I cried a little when I heard you got married.”
“I cried a little when I heard you had a kid.” (And again for your second child.)
“I’m convinced you’ll still end up with me someday.”
“I want to run my fingers through your hair.”
“I’m really turned on by your voice right now.”
“What kind of underwear are you wearing?”
– Heidi Thomasoni nearly peed herself during the conversation.