Q: What did the ADP molecule say to the phosphate? A: You complete me.

Q: What did the water molecule say to Photosystem II? A: Sorry, I’ve gotta split.

Q: Why was the water molecule so cranky? A: Because he was bipolar.

Q: What did the cytosine say to the guanine? A: Let’s bond.

Q: Why was the plant so emotional? A: Because his hormones were out of control.

Q: Why did the electron cross the salt bridge? A: To deposit on the other side.

Q: What did the voltage say to the battery? A: I can’t resist you.

Q: Why did the gene mutate? A: Because the environment called him unfit.

Q: How many bacteria does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None! Bacteria don’t screw!

Q: Why was granite so mean? A: Because he’s an igneous bastard.

Q: Why did the pine tree ask the maple for advice? A: Because he’s deciduous!

Q: Why did the E. coli stand up his date? A: Because he didn’t want to give her diarrhea.

Q: Why couldn’t the geranium sleepover with the corn? A: Because the corn only had a monocot!

Q: What did the proton say to the electron? A: I’m positive we belong together.

–Heidi Thomasoni originally tweeted these while drinking.