Laid-off monorail drivers pointing the monorail trains at each other and playing chicken.
Porn night at the Great Clips IMAX Theater.
Prairie dogs playing poker.
Panther turning into woman, having sex with laid-off zookeeper, turning back into panther at moment of climax and eating her lover, then turning back into woman, having sex with another laid-off zookeeper, turning back into panther at moment of climax and…so on.
Chimps riding around on giraffes.
Laid-off zookeepers drinking wine left over from the launch party for AZUL, the Minnesota Zoo young professionals’ group, and prank-calling members of the group, saying that to get an invitation to the next exclusive event, they’d have to correctly identify which ungulate makes this sound while mating.
Red pandas dressing up as giant pandas, because who wants to be a red panda?
Laid-off zookeepers hiding in the bushes and chirping, bird-like, at people walking to the Music in the Zoo concerts: “Yup, yup, yup, yuppie! Yuppie, yuppie!”
Snakes in pants.
Hot-boxing the Zoomobile.
Laid-off zookeepers enacting—to the shock and delight of 13-year-old Nate Peterson, bored and surfing the Web at his summer day program—alternate interpretations of the term “Beaver Lodge Cam.”