-Mood music is playing all the time.

-Interns are constantly having sex with each other, but they are still prone to sexually transmitted diseases.

-Only surgeons are real doctors.

-Doctors can only date doctors. If they date someone normal, they will cheat on them with a doctor.

-All doctors are attractive, but only some nurses. General hospital staff have no appearance requirements.

-If your mom was a successful surgeon, you’re automatically successful.

-There are more lesbian doctors than you’d think.

-If you get cut from a surgery, you probably slept with the wrong person.

-The most important surgeries must be performed during bomb scares and floods.

-The chief is probably an alcoholic.

-The scrub room of the OR is the best place for heart-to-heart conversations. Likewise, triage rooms are perfect for sex.

-“Pushing Epi” is a cure for every emergency. If not, try intubation.

-CPR is more effective if you climb on top of the patient.

-If you develop feelings for a patient, they will haunt you forever.

-Horrible things only happen to really interesting civilians.

-If there is a large, traumatic event, doctors will leave the bar across the street to assist.

-If you’re good at your job, something bad will probably happen to you (icicle through the chest, drowning, dragged behind a bus, cancer, etc.). Don’t worry, though…

-You can always bring someone back to life, as long as they’re your friend.

–Heidi Thomasoni just wanted to understand her med school friends.

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