Be part of a legendary band that broke up years ago; get back together as a new thing.

Be a legendary band that never broke up.

Imitate the Smiths as closely as you can; you’ll inevitably do something slightly different, and hence be acclaimed as original.

Be a hip-hop act; signal your irony by giving gonzo interviews.

Be a synthpop act; do absolutely nothing to betray any hint of irony whatsoever.

Have controversial views about rape. (“Controversial views” = say you’re going to do it all the time)

Have adorable beards.

Loop your vocals until you sound like a million mermaids.

Play sets that start with two short songs, segue into long jams, then end with two more short songs.

Lock yourself in a basement for three years with nothing but Cheetos, Mountain Dew, a drum machine,  a keyboard, a mixer, and a kazoo.

– Jay Gabler, Sarah Heuer, and Becky Lang

Above: Julianna Barwick at Pitchfork 2011. Photo by Jay Gabler.