More Scary Things Babies and Lungs Could Be Doing on Cigarette Boxes
Getting harassed by canvassers
Listening to Kings of Leon
Voting against minority rights
Getting botox
Wearing jeggings
Starting “the next Twitter”
Wearing a “The Biggest Loser” T-shirt
Talking to strange men on Chat Roulette
Reading GOOP.com
Writing “The Hangover 3”
Texting while driving
Uh … corn syrup
Holding up a punch card showing they’ve purchased twenty frozen cappuccinos
Defaulting on their student loans
Googling “Heidi Montag”
Teaching fortysomethings how to set a Wi-Fi password
Sneaking Baconnaise
Growing a tiny fir spring (this really happened.)