Ok, just so we get it out of the way. I’m like a fan or whatever. I didn’t want to like The Loon, but I loved it and bought it. Then, I really wanted to like Walk It Off, and didn’t, but still bought it. I didn’t even bother with Outside because after hearing the release of that boring single with that comically perverse banjo solo I figured the album would be a dud, and I now see that my premonitions were right.

Tapes n’ Tapes third album is boring and it seems like the band is too.  Everyone knows this. But how come no one is acting this way?

Well, technically they are. Just not in MPLS/STP. The national blogosphere’s reaction to Outside was mostly a loud sigh. It’s true critical praise in the blogosphere tends to be a fickle-and-self-devouring hydra snake at times. Frontman Josh Grier even said so in a City Pages article: “It’s like, ‘Oh god, we’re awesome!’ Or, ‘Oh god, we’re terrible!’ Or, ‘Oh god, we’re mediocre!’”

Except, this time the blogosphere is exactly right. If I had one word for each album that is exactly what I’d say: awesome-terrible-then just mediocre.

So, perhaps the local press wants to step up to the plate and protect the local scene kings. But that’s only cool if your king is like Arthur and not Lear. There does appear to be an emperor-is-standing-naked-in-the-alleyway-dumpster-diving-for-chicken-wings syndrome here, probably as there is everywhere.

To break it down, though, it’s not Tapes’ problem. They’re just doing what they’re doing as musicians, and they likely (or at least shouldn’t) give one flying fuck about what is spewed here. The real problem is actually with (predictably) mostly the local music press, the Current, and possibly ourselves.

First off, the Current has sort of become lap dogs for the city’s washed-up rock stars. Well, at least Prince and Tapes. If the station isn’t releasing another inane creation from Prince, we’re inundated with Tapes gushing.

Second off, the city’s music critics. They all were slow to recognize in Grier’s punchy little group what the blogosphere recognized, so they pandered on the second release. I can go with this. But the third album is absolutely laughable—the songwriting reminds me something out of a rock n’ roll day camp for suburban 6^th graders, and the lyricism is oppressively needy (“Freak out/I’ve been sure/ Will you look me in the eyes?/ Will you run from what you see?” Blah blah blah). It sounds like the voice-over to a preview for a new Rob Zombie horror film.

Third, shit, a guy who used to play with Tapes n’ Tapes just walked in the coffee shop I’m at. You see! That’s the god-damned problem. We can’t say anything about them in this town because you literally may be hurting the feelings of the girl next to you at Common Roots or whatever because she used to date the drummer or something or was in an alt-country side project with the bassist and as Minnesotans we’re raised not to do this (except on blogs).

So, whatever, I’ve forgotten my venom. I hate critics bludgeoning a band’s legacy because their last album sucked. I don’t care if Stevie Wonder hasn’t done anything in 20 years but cash in and play for political rallies or whatever. He’s a genius, always will be, no matter what those blowhards on Sound Opinions say. Same goes with Tapes’ first album (and like 2-3 songs on Walk It Off). Those efforts allow them full rights to cash in on Rock the Garden-style gigs till they want to hang it up.

But, can we stop pretending the critical voice in the scene is based on anything other than high school-style sycophancy? And can someone PLEASE ask that the Current not release Prince’s next wonky single?

-Dunstan McGill