To warm up for the Paper Darts Flash Fiction Writing Contest, I wrote ten short stories in 30 seconds each.

1. There was a man. He ran into another man. The first man said, “I love you!” The second man said, “Um.” The first man said, “Kiss me!”
2. There was a koala. He didn’t know where he lived. “Am I in Australia?” he asked. “Darn tootin,” said a kookaburra. The koala slapped the kookaburra.
3. There was a clock on the wall. Judy watched the clock. When would her time come? When would it be her time to shine? Holy crap, her time came suddenly!
4. One day, a leprechaun was walking through the forest. He met a dolphin. The dolphin was there mysteriously, dying from lack of food and water. The leprechaun pointed and laughed.
5. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. The dog yawned, stretched, and licked his balls. The fox watched, and touched himself.
6. “Get on that story, stat!” yelled the editor. “Isn’t that a medical term?” asked the reporter. “I’ll give you a medical term,” threatened the editor, shaking his fist.
7. There were 12 little Indians in an Agatha Christie book. “Haven’t we been changed to something else in new editions?” asked one. “Yes,” replied another, “and also, we’re metaphors.” The first little Indian went pale.
8. Once upon a time there was a farm. There was a cow on the farm, and a horse. Then the family needed some money for the farmgirl’s wedding, because…well, we won’t get into why, but the cow was sold for meat.
9. Postmodern stream-of-consciousness story with no punctuation or plot or moral just some words to pour into your brain and out your ear until you die of ennui.
10. They kissed. They danced. They wept. They wed. They divorced. They slept around. They re-wed. They wept. They kissed. They died, sort of happily.

– Jay Gabler