-Old guys who played in college

-Old guys who wish they played in college

-Girls who want to date an athlete

-Lesbians

-“Ballas” who didn’t make it

-Teenage girls who play basketball

-Wiggers

-Girlfriends who want to spy on guys’ nights

-Stat geeks who know what PRE stands for and can explain what a Win Share is

-Hipsters who used to read FreeDarko

-Twenty-somethings who are into beatnik nostalgia and wear vintage jerseys

-Cab drivers

-Suburban white kids who play pick-up ball at Lifetime Fitness and are always wearing one too many sweatbands

-High schoolers who wear basketball shorts when they go to the mall

-The Kardashians

-Carles

–Heidi Thomasoni with inspiration from Erik Thomsen and Jack McTigue