Buying 100,000 bags of GAYNGS Funyons

Buying a vowel so they can be GAYINGS

Ordering GAYNGS logo thongs for everyone in the group, with tear-off track pants to wear over them

Buying a round of bubbly for the whole First Ave Mainroom to pour in their pants

Bribing press to get a little publicity for Justin Vernon’s obscure “Bon Iver” side project

Buying a beat-up VW minibus for every member of the group

Flying in a bunch of Crips and Bloods so Minnesota can be named the most gang-filled state in the country

Building a Prince robot to join them onstage

Flying Christopher Cross in for a yacht party with lots of quaaludes

Collaborating with Tay Zonday for a cover of “Chocolate Rain” with real chocolate rain

Genetically engineering an actual jagjaguwar

Buying a bikini wax for Har Mar Superstar

Betting it all on black

Buying a three-bedroom split-level party house in Brainerd

Buying 100 Adele tickets from scalpers

Throwing a fifth of a SXSW power plant party

Building a GAYNGS sign batsignal searchlight

– Jay Gabler, Sarah Heuer, Becky Lang, and Heidi Schatz