Inanimate Objects Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Love Child Probably Resembles

Inanimate Objects Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Love Child Probably Resembles


A chrome toaster with a buzz cut

A lunch box, but the plastic kind with a handle not the nice insulated kind

A refrigerator box that got left in the rain – a little blurry around the outside

A post hole digger with a dozen black rubber bracelets on the handle

A Ken doll that was put in a microwave

A burning Seraphim, because it’s no coincidence his existence emerges at the dawning of the end of days

John F. Kennedy, weirdly enough

One giant muscle, like a raw porterhouse steak

A Dyson vacuum

An Austrian feather duster

A six-foot-tall Milano cookie

The back of a Danny DeVito cardboard cutout

A pixilated Instagram snapshot of a panda bear made out of LEGOS

Katie Sisneros and Sarah Heuer

Categories