1. Knit in class
2.Immediately identify your “posse” of classmates that you will collaborate with for group projects. They will either be Gender Women’s Studies majors or chicks with cockfeathers who work at Darque Tan.
3. Answer all questions about cinema and social theory with anecdotes about you and your boyfriend.
4. Decorate your PowerPoint with disco light clip art and lots of gradients.
5. Take out your Crest Whitestrips during class.
6. Have an asymmetrical haircut that forces you to constantly be moving your hair out of your eyes in a dramatic fashion.
7. Walk in late, holding Starbucks, with Mariah Carey blasting from your headphones.
8. Leave your A-graded paper about “Fisting and Lacan” on your desk while you go to the bathroom.
9. Tell the girl next to you that you simply can’t start your day without a Kombucha tea.
10. Use “Disney princess” in any kind of metaphor.

–Becky lang and Jason Zabel