Google Translate: Divining the Universal Truth

Google Translate: Divining the Universal Truth


In order to Ouija board out the truth about life, the universe and everything, The Tangential took a spiritual letter from a local pastor and ran it through Google Translate about 40 times, in languages including but not limited to Mandarin Chinese (Simplified), Afrikaans, Catalan, Italian, Japanese, Urdu and French. This is what came out:

Christmas on both sides, and I also have the collective consciousness of climate change, there is a fault in the rock. But the old adage: … “Strong as a ratio of rock,especially if there is more emotionally satisfying mystery Taylor gives a goodpicture of Comrade In other words, my garden is a good nurse’s government, aChristmas 41 years, this stage of our pilgrimage, so to speak I said, he decided todo it after the season, it is best to appreciate all its aspects.

So, what can we learn from this message that has traveled a world of languages and back? Here are our guesses:

-Christmas happens on both sides of the world, and possibly … both sides of the mirror.
-Climate change is real, and has a collective consciousness. The first rule of transference states that “collective consciousness” can be substituted with “Internet.” So the Internet is not a human invention, but the thoughts and feelings of runaway greenhouse gas.
-The fault in the rock probably refers to both San Andreas Fault, and also to rock music going downhill after the 1970s.
-Now it starts to get political. It is most likely saying that Taylor Swift gives us insight into a communist society by making songs that depict its opposite, AKA the emotionally satisfying but mysterious ennui of capitalism. The part about the garden being the nurse’s government refers to the slow food movement and its eventual impact on edible war supplies for fallen soldiers.
-We have 41 more Christmases to enjoy

So, how does it all tie together?

The universe is actually the Internet, which is the cloudy consciousness of runaway greenhouse gasses. It is confused about whether or not music is any good right now. It wants to blame capitalism, but a new age war is coming up and it is confused about supplies. In 41 Christmases, we will all switch to the other side of the mirror.

Becky Lang sometimes misses Babelfish by Alta Vista, purely because it was so bad.