Tag: Sarah Heuer
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Our Friends at Philolzophy Talk Their New Book
What’s the process of translating a blog to a book like? What was hard? What was surprising? C: It’s very fun for people like us who like to think about meta stuff. I always knew there was an underlying narrative to our blog so it was fun to lay that out. We pasted all of…
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Alternate Expressions for “Jumped the Shark”
Un-shot the tycoon (Dallas) Brain-damaged the teen (Skins) Replaced the Becky (Roseanne) Married the brother (90210) Lost the Canadian (MacNeil-Lehrer NewsHour) Met the mother (How I Met Your Mother) Graduated the high school (every teen show) Kissed the vampire (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Opened the hatch (Lost) Abducted the Mulder (X-Files) Had the cancer scare…
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Song Titles for the Next Taylor Swift Album
“Cardboard Girl (In Walgreens)” “I Guess One of Those Three Billion Girls Was Prettier Than Me” “Inevitable (for Justin)” “My Hair is Kinky, Like Me Now” “Can’t Believe You Checked Out Our Waitress” “Thinking About Dating Outside of My Race” “The Island of Misfit Toyboys” “Fighting in Iambic Pentameter” “I Can Be Pop, But You…
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13 Things We Were Indifferent to in 2012
Soccer Ke$ha Ancient Mayans Pee-Wee Herman’s short-lived comeback Gluten Oxford English Dictionary naming “GIF” word of the year Lindsay Lohan’s travails Genocidal-dictator memes Bret Easton Ellis vs. dead David Foster Wallace beef Local celebrities The phrase “local celebrity” Fifty Shades of Grey takeoffs White men – Jay Boller, Jay Gabler, Sarah Heuer, Becky Lang, and…
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Alternative Thanksgiving Menus
Vegan Thanksgiving: Tofurkey and soy potatoes. Gratuitously Carnivorous Thanksgiving: Bacon-wrapped turducken. Charlie Brown Thanksgiving: Jelly beans, pretzel sticks, popcorn, and toast. Texas Thanksgiving: Sour milk and secession fries. Grandma’s Nursing Home Thanksgiving: Jell-O, maybe some salt packets. International-Student-Staying-in-the-Dorm Thanksgiving: Sysco gravy and turkey burned by the Ukrainian RA. Dirty Hipster Thanksgiving: PBR, and ten bags…
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What Your Favorite Cupcake Says About Why Boys Don’t Love You
Red Velvet: You lure men in with your exotic features and unique appearance. You probably have at least one tattoo you designed yourself, and perhaps a cutesy hairbow affixed to the part of your hair that isn’t artistically shaved. Yet when they get you home they find grannie panties and several framed pictures of your…
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Things Your Cat Did to Me While You Were Asleep
Your cat ate my hair. I don’t know if my hair resembles an enticing ball of twine or if I just stood too close to the ventless oven while you were cooking sausage, but for whatever reason, your cat wanted to eat my hair. And he tried. Like six times. I kept waking up to…
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Twitter Handle Suggestions for Demi Moore, Formerly @MrsKutcher
@25andYoungerPlz [Quit all social media to screw up Kutcher’s investments] @BroSafari @MyButtIsPlastic @RumorsMom @DemiWho @SexandPottery @TakeMeBackBruce @NotKyleRichards @iDisrespectHawthorne @CurtainHair @MiddlePart @RememberWhenIShavedMyHead –Becky Lang, Marcus Michalik, Jason Zabel, Sarah Heuer 0 likes
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Our Best Guesses at Song Titles on the Upcoming She & Him Christmas Album
”I Wear My Bowtie at Christmas” “Christmas is So Muffinville!” “Snowshoeing Across The Park to Hold Your Hand” ”Christmas Tap Dance” ”She & Hymn” ”I Played an Elf in a Movie Once” ”Snowflakes are So Cute” “Listening to Bob Dylan’s Christmas Album by the Fire” “Brand New Shoes (From Santa)” “Yule Be Mine” ”You Thought…
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Other T-Shirts This Guy Owns
It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Skynyrd, Philadelphia Coliseum, ‘77 One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, FLOOR FBI: Female Body Inspector Your Pockets: The Only Place Democrats Will Drill There’s Room for All God’s Creatures…Right Between the Veggies and the Baked Potato PETA: People for the Eating of Tasty Animals My ass is…
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Things That Seem Great in Theory But Probably Wouldn’t Actually Be All That Great in Reality
The GoGirl. Working at a place that plays 80s soft rock hits all day. Holing up in a cabin for a month to write a novel. Dating a musician. Spiderman 3. Sex with an ex. Tubing. Having a tortoise as a pet. Having a parrot as a pet. Naming your baby after your favorite author.…
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DJ BAIT: Chrissy Murderbot on Misogyny, Booties, and “Fuck Dancing”
On Sunday afternoon at Pitchfork Becky and I spent some time hanging out with up-and-coming Chicago-based DJ Chrissy Murderbot. Incidentally, my first introduction to Chrissy (real name Chris Shively) was through the Pitchfork (website, not festival) review of his recent album Women’s Studies. The reviewer referred to him as “your friendly neighborhood Diplo,” a comparison…