-Rashes or burn marks on your chest when you leave your phone/laptop to free up a hand for a little passion dining “table of one” down..
No crunk, except for late-stage Kanye: While lots of girls gain exterior street cred by screen-saving their Spotify playlist when it p..
- Put on a little light jazz, pop a few Diet Cokes in the ice bucket, remove all my clothing except a “Teach Me How to Bucky” T-shirt, ..
A few days ago you moved in, and I gotta say I’m impressed. Yes, I’ve been watching you. Yep, from the second story wind..
Black Holes: These create gravity (I think), and without gravity we probably wouldn’t have other holes. They also give the earth somet..
“Drill, baby, drill!”
“You can maintain my facilities any time!”
“I think you’ve got a kink in your hose.”
“Oh, let me get th..
Memes on mudflaps
Bud Light Platinum, straight up with two olives
Mariachi pontoon parties
Jamba Juice with A..
Giant novelty scissors for a ribbon-cutting ceremony
The stem of a plant-watering glass bulb
Any of the knives we currently own
You arrive just in time to see EMTs rush into the fancy downtown hotel you’re staying at this Saturday night. The men of the wedding party..
Hey, sweet! My Grandpa Carson just did the unthinkable! After 82 years of his wretched existence sullying this planet, he finally clea..