Tag: Chrissy Stockton
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Lesser-Known Wedding Traditions
1. The Candlelit Sister Kiss 2. Bridal and Groomal Belly Bump 3. The Yellers Yell of Eternal Flaggelation 4. The Dance of Mr. Funky Socks 5. The Wedding Milkcrate 6. The Traditional Jumping Bridesmaids’ Photo Except the One Bridesmaid Who Timed Hers Badly (Thanks, Becky) 7. Street Dog Runs In 8. The Bride’s Virgin Sacrifice…
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New Lunchables Ideas for Today’s Kids
All Cricket Lunchable! Cricket ham, cricket crackers, cricket cheese and a cricket toy made out of crickets. The ~Retro~ Lunchable: A smoothie made of nitrates, lead paint and mercury cavity fillings. Prepare to go bonkers in art class! Netflix Lunchables: We’ll fill a buffet full of food that seems good when you look at it…
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Our Friends at Philolzophy Talk Their New Book
What’s the process of translating a blog to a book like? What was hard? What was surprising? C: It’s very fun for people like us who like to think about meta stuff. I always knew there was an underlying narrative to our blog so it was fun to lay that out. We pasted all of…
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52 Things From the 90s That No One Misses
“Hidden tracks” after ten minutes of silence at the end of albums Dial-up Internet, and the sound it made Vice President Dan Quayle When MTV only played music videos Jay Leno being taken seriously Palm Pilots Hotmail BK Knights NBA Jam Having your little sister die from a Ring Pop mishap Chicken Soup for the…
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TV Show Suggestions for The Millennial Network
Participant Media plans to launch a cable network aimed at viewers 18 to 34 years old with programming it describes as inspiring and thought-provoking. The as-yet-unnamed network is set to start next summer with an initial reach of 40 million subscribers, the company announced Monday. (Pioneer Press) America’s Next Top Instagrammer Blog Wars The Cosby Sweater…
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Name Ideas for the Olsen Twins’ Upcoming Fragrance
It Sprays Two Double Double Toilette and Trouble You Got It, Dude Grandma’s House Indie Movie Cameo Horse Amnesia Sister for Sale Siamese Bag Lady TGIF: The Perfume Non-Famous Olsen Sibling Queef Squared: The Olsen Twin Perfume Blank Stare –Becky Lang, Marcus Michalik, Chrissy Stockton, Jason Zabel 0 likes
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Things Everyone Thinks They’re the First One to Tell You
“You’ve kissed the Blarney Stone? People have peed on that, you know.” “Your cat sheds all over the place.” “The keg’s empty.” “Hey, you’re staring to get a little salt-and-pepper around the temples!” “Hitler wasn’t actually born in Germany.” “[Celebrity] died!” “Has anyone ever told you that you look like [unattractive celebrity]?” “Are you related…
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Guys Who Every Girl Thinks She’s the Only Girl Who Has a Crush On
Jeff Goldblum Steve Buscemi Ira Glass Richard Belzer Peter Dinklage Alan Rickman Robin Thicke Jeff Daniels Mark Ruffalo Louis Tomlinson Any androgynous K-pop star John Goodman Mark Duplass The Brawny paper towel man the Jolly Green Giant Paul Bunyan Steve from Blue’s Clues Tucker Carlson John C. Reilly Ringo Starr, Travis Barker, Phil Collins, and…
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Things we’re genuinely curious as to whether, and under what circumstances, people have ever been stabbed to death with
Giant novelty scissors for a ribbon-cutting ceremony The stem of a plant-watering glass bulb Any of the knives we currently own O.J. Simpson’s knife Fetid bamboo shoots One of those fat kindergarten pencils, sharpened to a deadly point A hummingbird A star from the top of a Christmas tree A narwhal tooth-horn Rock candy A…
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Mountain Range or Hipster Baby Name?
Ahmer Pirin Amaro Ruby Atlas Wicklow Rif Bale Entoto Pioneer Elk Rila Golden Everett Erta Kilimanjaro Driftless Area Stone Bruce Kipengere Lebombo Franklin Joy Castle Clearwater Kokanee Davis Laguna Owl Mahale Pare Kuray Madison Owen Stanley Boulder Pamir Sierra Pierce Tian Shan Sesvenna Bear River Dauphine Selasitsa Harz Massiff Pelly Blue – Chrissy Stockton is…
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Deep Philosophical Questions Inspired by the “Fright Night” Remake
Why isn’t the plot anything like the original? Are you responsible for decisions made under the influence? If you decide to drive while drunk, you go to jail even though your decision was impaired. If vampire movies teach us anything, it’s that someone can go from friendly human to bloodthirsty vampire with one bite. But,…
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Deep Philosophical Questions Raised by the Film Noir “Final Destination 5”
On Wednesday I was lucky enough to attend the sausage fest (it was hosted by a station called “Jack FM”) that was the advance screening of the latest installment of the Final Destination series. It was in 3D. This means we saw people get impaled in three dimensions. Whoa. Anyways, despite all the flashy…