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Hey, you’ve clicked the “Submit” link. That might mean that you want to submit something. Good news – we like submissions. We even like submissions from people we’ve never met who are on other continents!  Let’s get down to business.

You don’t want to be rejected just as much as we feel all awky rejecting people (see picture). So let’s make it easy for both of us.

The main brief is DON’T BE BORING. DON’T SUCK. But here’s a quick FAQ if you have any other questions:

I’m a journalist or web expert wanting to beef up my resume. Is this a good place to do it?

Do you guys only accept humor submissions?
No, philosophical essays are okay if they are related to pop culture, say something distinctly different and actually have a logical flow. Don’t just be snarky and think you’re Chuck Klosterman.

What about fiction?
We rarely publish fiction on this blog, so probably there’s a more appropriate place to send your short story. If you do send a work of fiction to us, please make that clear in your e-mail.

I don’t really know what to write about, so how about if I just list ten things that are really bugging me right now?
Do whatever you need to do to get through the day, but we’re unlikely to publish your submission unless it has a strong focus. Try choosing just one of those things and writing more about it.

Do you accept GIFs?
God yes.

Is there a minimum word requirement?
Shorter the better.

I’ve written a humorous list, and I’d like to preface it with three long paragraphs explaining the list’s significance and mentioning several caveats. That’s necessary, right?
Almost certainly not. Make the title of your post clear enough, and you can jump right into the list. Those long intros are the things we most often trim from submissions we publish.

I’ve already posted this thing on my own blog; can I just send you the link?
If you’re a really goddamn great writer, we won’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers—but in general, we’d strongly prefer that stuff you send to us not have been previously published.

Can I publish under a pseudonym?
Yes, but it has to sound at least remotely like it might be someone’s actual name. “Lucifer Jones” and “Badabing Jetson,” for example, are unacceptable.

Should I send a bio?
Yes, if we publish your post we’ll include a link to your Twitter or other site as well as a brief bio on your writer’s page. Click here to see a complete list of everyone who’s published posts with us.

Do you pay?
No—and we don’t get paid for this either. We frequently drink with our writers though.

I want to write about Minneapolis. Any tips?
If your submission is specific to Minneapolis, we’ll consider it for The Tangential Ruins Minneapolis. Find a general theme that newspapers and entertainment blogs wouldn’t cover. Be funny. Write at a slant. Don’t write about your own friends.

For more, read Chrissy Stockton’s post, How to Write Something for The Tangential. For cautionary notes, see Ten Signs Your Creative Writing Blog Post Might Be a Little Too Creative.

To submit, e-mail here.