Types of people at a rock club on a Tuesday dance night
Sophomore college girls. “We’re just dancing with our friends! We’re paying absolutely no attention to what any guys think. NONE AT ..
Since The Oxford English Dictionary is Now Accepting <3, Here are More Words We Should Add
The Oxford English Dictionary is seeming more like one of our broheims every day. It’s all like, “Whassup, meep meep, ready for some cou..
The Sisterhood of the Traveling Sperm Pants
Hope all is well with you. These jeans have been through a lot on my trip to Italy. I was wearing them on an innocent night..
Types of Families You Find in the Suburbs
As a kid, there’s nothing scarier than other people’s families. Their macaroni is strange, they don’t watch TV as much as your family ..
Pros and Cons of Living Alone
The last time I had legit roommates with whom I was not in a relationship, they lost one of our two kittens and ganged up on me to inc..
Thanks, Megan Boyle, For Saving Me From The Chicago Police
I don’t pay too much attention to internet celebrities, but when I heard you married the guy who wrote the poorly titled books ..
How to do a Pap smear, by a guy who just had it explained to him by three women last night at Liquor Lyle’s
First, you ask your patient to change into a flimsy paper garment. After making her wait an uncomfortably long time freezing her ass o..
The Pros and Cons of Living With Boys
Last year I lived in a house attached to a pizza place, with a whole bunch of straight boys, many of whom also happened to be lacrosse..
Ten Best McDonald’s Happy Meal Toys EVER
10. Berenstain Bears
I always liked the idea of everyone in the family being called by their role instead of their name. Why stop at Mom ..
Emily’s Wacky Wednesday Internets Round-Up
I don’t know about you guys, but I am always trying to find more ways to get Becky to like me. That’s why I invented (what I can hopef..
Shower Gloves and Other Neat Hygiene Secrets I learned from Strippers, Gay Dudes and Soldiers
I’ve always been taught to “walk with beggars and with kings,” which basically means that no matter who you’re dealing with, they have s..
Ten things I’ve done that I’m not proud of
1. Giving little to charity. For what that box set of Tegan and Sara vinyl cost me, I could have purchased 12 bed nets to protect chil..