dunstan mcgill
Look Who’s Coming to Dinner: Text Messages (and Some Annotations) of the Night My Brother Got Frosties with Bon Iver
My brother’s text message reached me just before 6 p.m. on Labor Day.
(5:59) “Bon Iver might be coming over to my house for dinner toni..
Early Onset Medical Concerns Associated with Sexting
-Rashes or burn marks on your chest when you leave your phone/laptop to free up a hand for a little passion dining “table of one” down..
What You Learn About a Girl from Her Sex Playlist on Spotify
No crunk, except for late-stage Kanye: While lots of girls gain exterior street cred by screen-saving their Spotify playlist when it p..
Half-Completed, Work-in-Progress Stories I’m Thinking About Submitting to Narrative’s 6-Word Story Series
…Then I barfed.
Rollerskating really hurts
Ride my Cadillac!
That’s your girlfriend?
Forget. We. Fucked.
Investigate ..
On Joe Bovino’s “Field Guide to Chicks of the United States”
It’s supposed to appeal to those dudes who turn to Big Buck Hunter II when bar conversation veers away from Stuart Scott. In other words, ..
An Open Letter to My New Neighbors, the Bros
Dear Bros,
A few days ago you moved in, and I gotta say I’m impressed. Yes, I’ve been watching you. Yep, from the second story wind..
Ranking the Orifices of the Human Body, the Planet and the Cosmos
Black Holes: These create gravity (I think), and without gravity we probably wouldn’t have other holes. They also give the earth somet..
Increasingly Desperate Lines for Hitting On Your Hot Handyman
“Drill, baby, drill!”
“You can maintain my facilities any time!”
“I think you’ve got a kink in your hose.”
“Oh, let me get th..
What’s Hot This Summer
Memes on mudflaps
Bud Light Platinum, straight up with two olives
Peen coozies
Mariachi pontoon parties
Jamba Juice with A..
Things we’re genuinely curious as to whether, and under what circumstances, people have ever been stabbed to death with
Giant novelty scissors for a ribbon-cutting ceremony
The stem of a plant-watering glass bulb
Any of the knives we currently own
..
How to Discreetly Check Into a Hotel When a Groomsman is Lying, Possibly Dead from Alcohol Poisoning, on a Luggage Rack in the Lobby
You arrive just in time to see EMTs rush into the fancy downtown hotel you’re staying at this Saturday night. The men of the wedding party..
How Many Dates Before a Drunken Make-Out Session on the Porch is a Reasonable Expectation?
I don’t really have a move. Once in high school, in the back of a car, I turned to my friend and point-blank asked her, “Well…so should we..