Talking Points on the New Arrested Development
1. Non-Linearity Each episode of the this season of Arrested Development is a piece of a puzzle for a larger story that makes more and more sense the more of them you see. Is this an experiment that the writers undertook to take advantage of the unique platform that is Netflix, and the fact that people often mass-consume a show in one or a few sittings? Did Arrested Development do this on a smaller scale in former episodes – and is that one reason why it was canceled,...
“The Bachelorette”: Ranking Desiree’s Bachelors by Their Cultural Tastes
25. Mike R. What he likes: “Rat Pack or classic rock.” Analysis: Hasn’t reflected on the irony of the fact that his relationship deal-breakers include being a smoker, a joker, or a midnight toker. 24. Drew What he likes: Hemingway. “I love his characters and writing style.” Analysis: For your first Halloween party as a couple he’ll put on a floral shirt and a Santa-suit beard, then ask you to go as Gertrude Stein. At the party he’ll quickly get drunk and try to goad you...
Is Everyone Falling through Doors Making Out but Me?
When I was younger, I had this one really, really strong opinion about station wagons. But my opinions and peeves have sort of dissipated as I’ve aged and now they are pretty much exclusively reserved for commentary about television and film. Here are the top things I’m just not buying about characters in television and film: They never shut the door They’re always walking into rooms and just leaving doors open. The scene that ensues could be riddled with gripping dialogue. It could be the...
Why Is Reading a Virtue But Watching TV Shows is “Lazy?”
I grew up in a fairly non-traditional family when it comes to media consumption. For example, my parents did not go to great lengths to censor what I read or watched. I have memories of my mom explaining what LSD was to me when we watched Hair and answering “Mom, what does ‘horny’ mean?” after I had watched Austin Powers. “It means you feel like having sex,” she said. To her, books and movies were important stories that, if I can speculate, helped her explain the world...
Alternate Expressions for “Jumped the Shark”
Un-shot the tycoon (Dallas) Brain-damaged the teen (Skins) Replaced the Becky (Roseanne) Married the brother (90210) Lost the Canadian (MacNeil-Lehrer NewsHour) Met the mother (How I Met Your Mother) Graduated the high school (every teen show) Kissed the vampire (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Opened the hatch (Lost) Abducted the Mulder (X-Files) Had the cancer scare (too many shows to count) Demonized all the characters (Gossip Girl) Birthed the precocious twins (7th Heaven) Chopped the hair (Felicity) A.J. Jacobs-ed the relationship with time (Felicity) Lost the...
God, Death, and Why “Ghost Adventures” May Be the Most Important Thing Ever…Or at Least on Television
When my Grandma died last month my relatives—the ones who had gathered by her bedside—said they saw a ghost. “It was more like a bright window opened for an instant, and then disappeared.” When my Grandma opened her eyes for a couple hours the night she passed away, she didn’t say anything—as though her soul had already departed her body. “I believe” was the common refrain heard around the table, long after midnight a couple nights at later at my Grandma’s wake. I poured myself...
Gossip Girl Dies, Along with The Version of Luxury and Class it Represents
Gossip Girl premiered in 2007, right when the “Great Recession” was kicking off, the housing bubble was collapsing and the stock market began its descent. The recession that would burst the millennial bubble of self-obsession and general entitlement was suddenly juxtaposed against this show that depicted “upper East siders” of Manhattan, born into privilege and concerned with little more than making Brooklynites feel lower class and ruining one another’s reputations for fun. At first it was a fun escape from reality. Look at this sexy...
TV Show Suggestions for The Millennial Network
Participant Media plans to launch a cable network aimed at viewers 18 to 34 years old with programming it describes as inspiring and thought-provoking. The as-yet-unnamed network is set to start next summer with an initial reach of 40 million subscribers, the company announced Monday. (Pioneer Press) America’s Next Top Instagrammer Blog Wars The Cosby Sweater Show Countdown: Today’s Top 1,000 GIFs (30-minute show) Frenemies The Intern I Love the 90s in a More Authentic Way Than People on VH1 Keeping Up With Tavi Monologues by...
The Year the Whole Neighborhood Gave Charlie Brown Rocks for Halloween: An Oral History
Gladys Reddy: I think it was Dick’s idea. We were all having doughnuts after the PTA meeting, and he said, “That Charlie kid is so down on himself, he probably expects to get rocks for Halloween. Wouldn’t it be funny if we actually did that?” Jo Anderson: I heard that Phil Brown beat Dick pretty handily at bowling that week—Phil’s not a very good bowler, so I suppose Dick was pretty miffed. I think the whole rock thing was Dick’s passive-aggressive way of getting back at...
Things I Learned from TV That I Didn’t Learn from Real Life
• The best-looking, coolest teenagers are actually 30. • Your principal is always looking for ways to take you down. • Your ultimate love interest is never the one whose entrance is accompanied by wind chimes in first episode, and in fact that guy is going to give your cousin an STD. • Sometimes 1 person is actually twins and a set of twins is actually just 1 person. • Some people peak at childhood and spend their 20′s getting in hit-and-runs. •No one on...
Other Suggestions for Kelly Ripa’s Permanent Cohost
-Kelly’s personal tricep workout instructor -A dancing silhouette from Travel Trivia -A rotating cast of our stay-at-home moms -Boo the dog’s friend Buddy, who lives in his shadow but deserves some spotlight -A republican politician who really hates abortions for everyone to get mad at -A looming syringe of Botox -Miley Cyrus’ chopped off hair -The Obama’s dog -Anderson Cooper’s tailor, who always has juicy crotch gossip -A Rosetta Stone DVD that responds to celebrity comments with random Japanese vocabulary. Neko! -A scowling Kristen Stewart -A...
ABC Family Suddenly Being Cool – What Does it Say About The Girly TV World?
Reading about The ABC Family network is interesting. Did you know it started in 1977, as an extension of a televangelist ministry? Or that the terms of its lease require the network to always contain the word “family?” Or that the network considered changing its name to XYZ to appeal to hip college girls, but Disney, who owns it, found “it could never be renamed as such?” Justifiably, there has always been a creepy picket fence aura around the network. When I first got cable,...
