The Tangential
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Katie Drunk Blogs Cosmos

ShareIn which Katie drinks every time she feels confused by how unconfused she is by her sexual feelings toward Neil Degrasse Tyson, and occasionally quotes her friends. Opening act featuring President Barack Obama, who’s all “DANGIT GO TO SPACE, GUYS. WE GOTTA BRING BACK SPACE STUFF.” “Build on evidence that passes the test, reject what […]

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An Alien’s Maid of Honor Speech for Her Human Best Friend

Ladies and gentlemen, friends and family of the happy couple, I want to thank you all for being here on this joyous occasion. My name is Tiffany, I decided, and I just want to say a few words about the best friend I’ve ever had on this planet. Sarah and Mark are joining themselves today […]

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If Women’s Magazines’ Promises Were Edited by Lawyers

30 Quick, Fresh Recipes. When prepared correctly and consumed with a low-calorie diet, supplemented by exercise, could promote weight loss! Burn 300* calories the fun, new way. *Calorie burn varies depending on intensity of exercise completed combined with your weight and heart rate. Cosmo does not guarantee you will burn 300 calories. 7-Day Detox Plan! […]

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Five Reasons Why Ms. Frizzle Is Obviously a Weasley

1. She’s a ginger. The most notable thing about the Weasley family aside from a) the fact that they can do magic and b) they’re, like, super poor, is their fiery red locks. Valerie Frizzle is inarguably of this clan, unless the color settings on your TV are all janky. 2. She’s magic. Yeah, I […]

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Vegetarianism and The End of The Circle of Life

I never thought much about vegetarianism growing up. I tried to become a vegetarian for a week at age 12, simply because I thought I “didn’t like meat,” and it did not last. I was very addicted to chicken nugget Happy Meals. I still do not think I could say goodbye to them. Like many […]

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On Having the Most Common Birthday

Today, October 5th, is my birthday. It has been that way my whole life. It’s a great day, factually speaking; you can’t argue with that. It’s the beginning of fall (or “autumn” if you’re a pretentious Ivy Leaguer or a republican), the leaves on the trees are celebrating gay pride, plus Halloween is coming up […]

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Nicholas Sparks Movies Make Me Hate My Life

I saw that new Nicholas Sparks movie last night after drooling over the trailer for about a month.  If you’re unaware of it, it’s called, “The Lucky One,” and it features a beefy Zac Efron as the world’s most perfect man. (I, too, wonder where all his muscles came from.) While watching the movie, I kept […]

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How Wisconsin Dells Heightened My Dreadlock Complex

I recently bought a Wisconsin Dells weekend getaway Groupon so that my roommates and I could live out our childhood water park fantasies as mid-twenty-somethings. Having never been there, we asked our seemingly innocent, middle-aged hotel front desk clerk where we should eat lunch. After starring hard at me for a few seconds, she said, […]

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What’s the Deal With Chuck Klosterman’s Fiction?

Like many of his beloved ‘80s hair metal bands suffering through mid-career artistic crises, Chuck Klosterman’s novel-writing period is like his 1990s. First there was Downtown Owl, a book that took various lives in a small-town in North Dakota (pot-smoking, single school teacher, high school quarterback who doesn’t understand lyrics to “Jump,” and an old […]

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Is Introversion Learned or Is It Something You’re Born With?

When I was growing up, my sisters, 7 and 8 years older than me, shared a bedroom, which was something I was very jealous of. I would hang out in there with them all night, watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on their TV and listening to them talk about their friend’s dating lives. When they […]

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If You Stare at Your Cat

If you stare at your cat, you might start to think she looks like a little person covered in fur. The longer you stare, the more you might see a striking resemblance to Kylie Minogue or Joan Rivers. After that, you might start wondering if your cat has any ambitions. You might briefly consider your […]

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Does it Mean You’re Dumb if You’re Bad at Trivia?

This question has been on my mind lately – by that I mean every Wednesday night, as I contribute next to nothing to a trivia team I go to mostly because it’s an excuse to eat chicken fingers. Let me back up: I like the idea of trivia. Learning while drinking? Those are two of […]

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