Category: Godlessness
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Celebrating International Women’s Day Like a REAL Woman, 7 Years Later
Seven years ago, when I was but a wee baby 24 year old in the 2nd year of my PhD program, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek, fart-joke-filled post celebrating International Women’s Day. I would like to update that post for my 2018 post-graduate school life. Hello, women. Everybody remembered the secret handshake to get into the…
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A Slightly Less Creepy Annunciation (Luke 1:26-38)
In the sixth month of Elizabeth’s pregnancy, God sent the angel Gabriel to Nazareth, a town in Galilee, to a young woman who also happened to be a virgin. The woman had gotten engaged to her longtime boyfriend named Joseph, a descendant of David, on a vacation to Iceland. They hadn’t planned a wedding yet,…
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Why an ex-Catholic watches the Pope
The Pope is in America. I’m reminded of Pope John Paul II’s 1987 visit to the U.S., which my father and my maternal grandmother sat together and watched on TV. Dad and Grandma didn’t have a lot in common, but they were both descendants of the German-Catholic diaspora that flowed into Minnesota in the 19th…
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Reminder: Atheism Doesn’t Need Rules
I was raised Catholic, and as a kid with an overactive imagination and a tendency toward neurotic behavior, I took it quite seriously for some time. I remember praying almost compulsively, afraid that if I didn’t list someone in my prayer, I would be responsible for their death. I excused religion from my life as…
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Top Five Signs That Macklemore Is Being Held Hostage by the Illuminati
The annual Grammy Award Ceremony is an exciting event in which industry movers and shakers get together to enjoy performances by the year’s biggest acts and honor outstanding achievements in the field of music. At least, that’s what they want you to believe. In reality, of course, it’s an excuse for the shadowy elites who run…
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Missed Connections of the Damned
Why so serious? – m4m – [46] (inside my torso) I’ve always been a sucker for the brooding, sensitive types. So when I glanced over my shoulder and saw you leaning against the inner wall of my hollowed-out ellipsoid body, with your eyes downcast and your tomatolike head cradled in your right hand, my interest…
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Hipster Pope Names
Pope Cumberbatch VIII Pope DIIV Pope John Paul Collective Pope Austin SXSW Pope Warby Parker I pOpE Pope Indifferent Pope Kashi Go Lean Pope John Misty Pope? Pope. Pope Generation X Pope Pulp the Juice Pope Olivia Pope of ABC’s runaway hit show Scandal Pope Just a Second I’m Tweeting This Pope to the Maxx Pope…
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Lessons I Learned in Christian Grade School
Dogs don’t have souls. Don’t let those wagging tails and the limitless, unconditional affection fool you. Dogs are for hunting, and for pictures in calendars you give to your mom for Christmas. Girls in eighth grade cannot get pregnant—their bodies do not allow it. In response to your questions about Megan and her sudden affinity…
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Things That Would Probably Be Sins if The Bible Were Written Today
Assuming that God would be worried about global warming, global overpopulation and douchebags rather than like, mixing wool and linen together, these things might have been outlawed: -Owning a Hummer -Craigslist killing -Making a dress out of meat -Turning the sink on while you poop (you know what’s up, high school girls) -Trespassing upon thine…
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Discussion Topics for Ann Romney’s Morning Devotional Group
1) Keep a day journal: Don’t forget to stay on top of the small yet vital things in life. You never know when the kids will need another nutritious celery stick smeared with peanut butter! Or when you’ll have to hire a new, $4,000 per week Venezuelan buttress to tend to their dietary needs while…
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In the Bible, Women Were Total Babymachines
Last weekend I ended up sitting at home on a Saturday night entranced by something called The Brick Testament. It is basically the Bible, with different passages illustrated with Legos. The project is insanely comprehensive, and the pictures are detailed and engaging. Meaning, yes, a heathen like me finds The Bible only readable when…
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50 Shades Of Gay
Alice Blue Amber Amethyst Antique ruby Ball Blue Banana Beau Blue Coral pink Daffodil Deep champagne Deep peach Devy’s grey Flamingo pink Folly Fulvous Fushcia Glitter Hooker’s green Lavender Lust Magenta Mauve Meat brown Mellow apricot Misty rose Mulberry Peach Periwinkle Persimmon Phlox Pink lace Plum Puce Rainbow Razzle dazzle rose Rosewood Ruddy pink Safety…