Fun Stuff to Do or Die
We are Cool. We are Hip. We know the Fun Things Going On Around Town. And guess what? We’re going to tell ‘em to you, in handy dandy lists, every week. You can do them, or you can die alone. Up to you.
Ten Easy Ways to Make Your Life More Like a Movie Trailer
Every once in a while, fall over in a way that looks really funny—but without actually hurting yourself. Like, fall on your ass while on an ice-skating date, or wipe out while jogging in a way that shows how out-of-shape and in need of a life epiphany you are. Get instrumental accompaniment. Start with light piano, then work your way up to acoustic guitar strums, and finish up with a soaring track from an album Pitchfork gave an 8.3 when it was released three years...
Why Magazines are Failing (Besides the Death of Print)
Let me start by saying that my opinion here is coming from a perspective that is 1/3 someone who has been behind closed doors at a magazine office, 1/3 adamant, life-long magazine lover, 1/3 someone who works in advertising. Meaning I’m putting bits together to create an assumption, however imperfect that assumption might be. Here’s what I think. Magazines are failing for many reasons, but what ends up being the silent, invisible nail in the coffin is when they attempt to save themselves by writing exclusively...
Our Friends at Philolzophy Talk Their New Book
What’s the process of translating a blog to a book like? What was hard? What was surprising? C: It’s very fun for people like us who like to think about meta stuff. I always knew there was an underlying narrative to our blog so it was fun to lay that out. We pasted all of our favorite articles into a Word document, it ended up being 125,000 words that we chiseled down to around 25,000 over four weeks. S: What was surprising for me was...
Our Dream Cast for a Live-Action Version of “Doug”
Doug = Shia Labeouf Patty Mayonnaise = Carey Mulligan Roger = Chris Owen Judy = Emma Stone Skeeter = Maulik Pancholy Mr. Dink = Philip Seymour Hoffman Porkchop = Seth Rogen -Becky Lang, Grant Wilson, Stephanie O’Donnell, Brent Radeke
Alternate “Settlers of Catan” Themes
Hipsters of Catan Settlements and cities: Coffee shops and music festivals. Resources: Hornrims, tallboys, cigarettes, Adderalls, screenprints. Robber: Taylor Swift. Yuppies of Catan Settlements and cities: Lofts and health clubs. Resources: Amstel Lights, fixtures, Cuisinart products, squash balls, popped collars. Robber: Baby carriage. Bros of Catan Settlements and cities: BW3s and football stadiums. Resources: Kegs, caps, Frisbees, sweats, sweat. Robber: Fiancée. Evangelicals of Catan Settlements and cities: Churches and megachurches. Resources: Bibles, sandals, guitars, forgiveness, soul patches. Robber: “The World.” Freaks and Geeks of Catan Settlements and...
Stupidest Pop Lyrics on the Radio Right Now
“If your heart is a pillow, this love’s the bed.” – Chris Brown, Don’t Wake Me Up I wish we could just not wake up Chris Brown. “Shh … Let him sleep on that metaphorical bed-shaped love … FOREVER [cackle].” “Now you get to watch her leave out the window/ Guess that’s why they call it window pain.” – Eminim, Love the Way You Lie It’s a little known fact that the creator of the window named that edge part of it the “pane” because...
Hot Tips for Making Jesus Sound Cool to Today’s Youth
Give Jesus an outline tattoo of Nazareth on his forearm. Tell kids that the Jesus lets them experience the holy spirt in “retina display.” Have Jesus wear an “I <3 Jesus” shirt ironically. Give Jesus a guest song on Yo Gabba Gabba! Put Jesus on a skateboard. Have him participate in Red Bull’s Crashed Ice. Have him compete on the X-Factor to join a power band of heavenly pop stars. Have him get in a “diva spat” with Nicki Minaj. Give him his own line...
52 Things From the 90s That No One Misses
“Hidden tracks” after ten minutes of silence at the end of albums Dial-up Internet, and the sound it made Vice President Dan Quayle When MTV only played music videos Jay Leno being taken seriously Palm Pilots Hotmail BK Knights NBA Jam Having your little sister die from a Ring Pop mishap Chicken Soup for the Soul (Book Club) Alicia Silverstone movies that aren’t Clueless “The very best thing of all” (the counter on this Skip-It ball) People being obsessed with Andrew Lloyd Webber The Microsoft Office...
How to Name Your Plants
1. Become lonely Find a nice cozy spot between crazy hoarder lady lonely and precious child lonely. Live alone and desire something to project your feelings onto that isn’t your fridge or your couch. 2. Rule out owning a pet You want something else ‘alive’ in your apartment but you’d get evicted if that thing was a dog. Decide that plants seem manageable, and if one died under your watch it would not be nearly as guilt-inducing as letting a dog somehow die. 3. Acquire...
Justin Bieber x SNL Drinking Game
-Any time Justin Bieber says – or sings – the word “girl” you have to drink -Any time anyone references his hair, drink, duh -Selena Gomez guest cameo, finish that bottle -If he plays a member of One Direction, drunk dial your little brother -If you spot one chest hair on his chest, consume a tequila shot spiked with Cholula -If someone calls him Biebs, take one modest sip, cuz that will happen many times -DRINK WHEN THE JUSTIN BIEBER DANCES -If SNL makes fun...
20 Ways to Be Myopic About Being In Your 20′s
I’m just as guilty of many of these as anyone, but hey, self reflection! 1. Constantly think of ways to give advice to people 2 years younger than you. If only they knew what you know now (23). 2. Compulsively add “first world problems!” to everything you say. 3. Be genuinely shocked every time you meet a non-atheist, like you’ve just spotted a blue deer with wings in the woods. 4. Overestimate the amount of people who “live for BRUNCH.” 5. Feel like anyone who...
Transcript from the Show “Gals” by Lana Durham
MITZY: Hey, Betty do ya like my bloomers? BETTY: Mitzy! Those bloomers are way too small on you. [Whispers] I can see your tuckus! Why are you always walking around with your tuckus out anyway? MITZY: [Jiggles breasts comically] Cuz I’m just that kinda gal! Try and stop me! BETTY: Aw Mitz, your chichis are so small but you’re just so proud of ‘em! I wish I could be confident like you. MITZY: But if you don’t love your cha chas then how are...
