Music/Snacks
CategoryThoughts I Have While Listening to Lana Del Rey’s “Video Games”
This is kind of pretty, I think I like it.
How does one whistle a name? Does Lana have dog-like hearing?
When he says, “Get over..
Jay-Z Will Stop Saying “Bitch” Now That He Has a Daughter, and Other News
We all know that parenthood changes a person—usually for the better. In Jay-Z’s case, the birth of his daughter Blue Ivy Carter means he’l..
How Kids Conceived to These Albums Turned Out
Frank Sinatra, Songs for Swingin’ Lovers! (1956)
Went to an elite prep school where he experimented with guys, ultimately resolving t..
A Defense of Shameless Christmas Music
Our editor Jay Gabler has recently been liking my Spotify account more than usual—a nod on my Mannheim Steamroller, a witty comment ab..
Signs You Might Be Turning into a Gordita
-You wake up smelling like border sauce.
-You get your tarot cards read and the fortune teller sees a low-calorie spinoff in your f..
What I’m Actually Thinking When I’m Watching the Concert I’m Supposed to Review
Man, look at that dude holding his guitar…He looks cool as fuck…I wanna do that…Big time…I should go home and practice. Shit, what was..
10 Anxieties I Have About Grocery Shopping
1. I will accidentally “overindulge” by buying expensive greek yogurt and some kind of exotic vegetable, all out of a fruitless quest ..
Proposed Titles for Chillwave Bands’ First Christmas Albums
Washed Out – Within Your Stockings
Phantogram – Shake the Chimney
Neon Indian – Santa Clause No Es Un Santo
Toro y Moi – Unde..
If Paste’s 20 Best Albums of 2011 Were Recorded by IKEA Products
20. The Rip Tide by BERIT (fabric)
19. Cults by CHOSIGT (grater/funnel)
18. Civilian by YNGSJÖ (tea light holder)
17. Barton ..
How to Know When Your Band’s “Loose and Fun” Live Show is Getting a Little Too Loose and Fun
You forgot the lyrics to your biggest hit.
You threw up into the photo pit.
You gave away the set list after the second song, an..
The Evolving Function of Chillwave
When chillwave first came out, I understood it to be Pitchforkfolk’s attempt to reappropriate techno as an inaccessible, slowcore, iPad-fu..
Anyone Else Spending Most of November Eating Like a Fucking Slob?
It’s November, and so like clockwork, I’ve spent 5 of the last 6 nights winding up my long, thankless work days trolling the darkly-lit hi..