The Tangential
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More Details About The (Still Mysterious) Minneapolis Taco Delivery Service Taco Cat

This week in Minneapolis-is-kinda-Portlandia-ish news, word started spreading about a new bike delivery taco company called Taco Cat (get it? It’s a palindrome.). Because they are basically shrouded in mystery, I reached out to one of their leaders, who prefers to go by “Church,” for more details. (Note: he preferred his name not be shared. […]

Top Five Signs That Macklemore Is Being Held Hostage by the Illuminati

The annual Grammy Award Ceremony is an exciting event in which industry movers and shakers get together to enjoy performances by the year’s biggest acts and honor outstanding achievements in the field of music. At least, that’s what they want you to believe. In reality, of course, it’s an excuse for the shadowy elites who run […]

New Kids on the Block

New Kids on the Block: The Best Quotes From Their 1989 Group Biography

Share “The demand for them in Japan is so great, the Kids were flown there for the sole purpose of meeting fans, giving interviews to magazines and the country’s MTV, performing on the popular Japanese TV show Funky Tomato, and posing for photographs.” “Over 100,000 phone calls per week flood the New Kids 900 number. Associated […]

James Brown

Which “Please Come Home for Christmas” is For You?

The Eagles, 1978 I don’t know what it’s like to date models. I don’t know what it’s like to live in California in the 1970s and play in a rock band. In other words, I don’t know what a pain it is to be Don Henley. But now I get it. I GET IT because […]

Chumbawamba

Chumbawamba: Where Are They Now?

Boff Whalley—vocals, guitar, ukulele and clarinet. Forming the anarchist pop act Chumbawamba from his former band Chimp Eats Banana, Whalley went on to marry an American photographer and has been prominent in “fell running” (i.e., white people in fancy cross-trainers running across mountains), proving quite literally that a man can get back up again even […]

darkside

I Tried Out to be the Lead Singer of a Prog Rock Band

People often mistake me for a musician. It’s probably because I’m tall and thin, and have the dark hair/blues eyes combo that makes me look more serious and intelligent than I actually am. Baristas, old guys in thrift shops, and even weirdos on the street are prone to approaching me with the same question loaded […]

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What It Means to Be a Person Who Can’t Sing In Tune

People who can sing well think that you’re always joking about not being able to sing. Those who were born with the ability to effortlessly hit notes can have a difficult time understanding that you can’t—not won’t, but actually can’t. This means that when you try to sing and your best attempts get you nowhere near the […]

Ghana Michigan

Asantewa in Wonderland: Down the Rabbit (Soup) Hole

Growing up as an immigrant kid in rural Michigan isn’t easy. Actually, allow me to rephrase: growing up as an un­cool bookworm kid in “where­am­I­are­those­Amish­people” Michigan is downright rough. While I was never made to feel excluded, there was a certain discomfort that came with the obvious disconnect between my family and the families of […]

Paula Deen

Things About Paula Deen That It’s Funny How You Never Hear White People Saying In Front of Black People

“It just seems so sad.” “I don’t see why her personal life has to come into this. Her job is to be a good cook!” “She admitted to saying it, what, once? Twenty years ago?” “Things never would have gone down like this if she had a better P.R. team.” “I understand why the Food […]

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Suggested Track Listing for Amanda Bynes’s Rap Album

Welcome to the Errordome Dickelodeon Bang a Gong (Throw a Bong) Fear of a Planet Tan Bitches Can’t Shit (When They’re Living Off Movie Premiere Cheese Trays) Wanksta’s Paradise Murder (My Vagina) Was the Case (not feat. Drake) Straight Outta Thousand Oaks White Lines (Do It) Nuthin But a G String Keep Ya Head Up […]

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What It Means To Be a Teenager Who Loves Classical Music

As young musicians, most of us have already aged. One violinist I know, who is 16, wears a top hat and breeches to each orchestra rehearsal. Another girl is never seen without her small heels. Nails are short and clean, and all the young women tie their hair back before picking up their instruments. As […]

Early Luther orchestra, 1884-1885

Does It Matter That No One Gives a Shit About Classical Music Any More?

Minneapolis likes to compare itself defensively to New York, which makes it all the more poignant that James Oestreich of the New York Times has just published a pained essay calling Minneapolis a “great cultural mecca” and lamenting the fact that one of our indisputably world-class cultural resources—the Minnesota Orchestra—has just lost its entire 2012-13 season to […]

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