Song Titles for the Next Taylor Swift Album
“Cardboard Girl (In Walgreens)”
“I Guess One of Those Three Billion Girls Was Prettier Than Me”
“Inevitable (for Justin)”
“My..
TV Show Suggestions for The Millennial Network
Participant Media plans to launch a cable network aimed at viewers 18 to 34 years old with programming it describes as inspiring and thoug..
Sexts from the Sea
I am wet for you
Motorboat all over me
Drill me until you accidentally poke a lost sea diver skeleton
I’m overflowing with lust f..
13 Things We Were Indifferent to in 2012
Soccer
Ke$ha
Ancient Mayans
Pee-Wee Herman’s short-lived comeback
Gluten
Oxford English Dictionary naming “GIF” word of..
Alternative Thanksgiving Menus
Vegan Thanksgiving: Tofurkey and soy potatoes.
Gratuitously Carnivorous Thanksgiving: Bacon-wrapped turducken.
Charlie Brown Tha..
Texts Received by Lance Armstrong After Accidentally Tweeting His Phone Number
“Condolences about Neil, man. That sucks.”
“I’d like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Ura.”
“Can you drive me to the air..
Name Ideas for the Olsen Twins’ Upcoming Fragrance
It Sprays Two
Double Double Toilette and Trouble
You Got It, Dude
Grandma’s House
Indie Movie Cameo
Horse Amnesia
Sist..
Ph. DJ Names
DJ Annotated Syllabi
DJ Cunttural Hellativism
DJ State Loan
DJ Dean Impresser
DJ Peer-Reviewed Study
DJ Knowledge Piñata
..
Things Everyone Thinks They’re the First One to Tell You
“You’ve kissed the Blarney Stone? People have peed on that, you know.”
“Your cat sheds all over the place.”
“The keg’s empty.”
..
Guys Who Every Girl Thinks She’s the Only Girl Who Has a Crush On
Jeff Goldblum
Steve Buscemi
Ira Glass
Richard Belzer
Peter Dinklage
Alan Rickman
Robin Thicke
Jeff Daniels
Mar..
Other Minor Fast Food Chains Announce Political Stances on Sex Things
-Burger King wants you to do masturbation your way
-Annie’s Pretzels takes a stance against the stereotype that flexible people are..
Celebrity College Analogies
“It might also help to show, over time, that the supposed superiority of an Ivy League education is highly over-rated. In time, people wo..